


And they were roommates (oh my god they were roommates)

by Squeakyshroom



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Friends With Benefits, Hand Jobs, Light BDSM, M/M, Roommates, Ryan is in need of dick, Shane Madej Is A Dick, Top!Shane, and dom!Shane, bit of a slowburn, powerbottom!Ryan, sub!Ryan, until the last few chapters where it's more like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-04-07 06:17:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14074755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squeakyshroom/pseuds/Squeakyshroom
Summary: Shane and Ryan are roommates who fuck, but with rules.(Now if only they'd stop breaking all the damn rules)





	1. New Rules

It all starts with a rumor and a ruined Grindr date. 

“That bad? Was he a catfish again?” Shane asks with a wry grin as Ryan storms in. He kicks off his shoes, not even bothering to shove them in the closet, collapses onto the couch, and rests his legs on Shane’s lap. It’s approaching midnight, so Shane’s in nothing but pajamas. The room is dark except for the glow of Shane’s laptop and the flickering overhead light. 

“Worse; they didn’t show up. No text! No apologies! No nothing! They just- just ghosted me like- like...ugh, I can’t think of any funny supernatural puns. All I have left to comfort me is my Chipotle leftovers.”

“And your right hand.”

“Shuddup,” Ryan says but the corners of his lips twitch up into a smile. “I hate when you try to make me laugh when I’m in the middle of a crisis. No, not a crisis- I’m in the middle of an epiphany. You what to know what I just realized?”

“That you have shitty taste in Grindr dates?

“No. Listen. I’ve realized that basically- basically I don’t believe in love, not in LA. It’s all a scam that Hollywood made up to sell us clothes and hair products and bikini waxes. Mickey Mouse has bamboozled us into believing in soulmates, so we’re all waxing our balls in the hopes that Prince Charming is going to show up when the truth is that- that it’s bullshit!”

Shane laughs and flicks at one of Ryan’s curl that has come ungelled.

“Aw, come on, you’re too young to be so jaded.”

“So I have to wait until I’m an old man like you to denounce all the idiots in the California dating pool?”

“Thirty isn’t old,” Shane snorts and pushes Ryan’s feet off him. 

Ryan makes an injured noise and crowds up into Shane’s space, which isn’t hard when this IKEA couch can barely fit the two of them. If you live with Shane the Sasquatch, you learn that any shared space is a cramped space. One of them has to sit on the edge of the tub if they both make the mistake of brushing their teeth at the same time.

“Comfort me, Shane,” Ryan demands. “That’s what you’re supposed to do when your friend gets stood up, you know. I don’t know if they teach you that at demon school, for like, demons, but that’s what we lowly humans do.”

Shane gives him a lopsided grin and his eyes twinkle: “Help how? You want a sympathy handjob?”

“I meant a hug, you actual sociopath,” Ryan huffs and turns red as he lightly smacks Shane’s smug face with a pillow. 

God, why did he even agree to live with this dude? Shane Madej is  _ the  _ worst. For one, he never takes anything seriously. Ever. And another thing is...well, he’s handsome. It’s obvious he knows it, and he  _ knows  _ that Ryan knows it. So it’s just one big circle jerk of knowing and not doing anything about it. Hence Ryan’s flushed face.  

Shane puts up his hands in surrender and says, “I mean we’re both single and horny, so...you know. I’m just throwing it out there as a possibility.” 

“I would never sleep with my coworker slash roommate,” Ryan grumbles as he throws his pillow weapon away and gets up to grab a couple beers out of the fridge. Look....he’s sad. That’s reason enough to drink on a Friday night. 

Shane shouts after him, “You’re too young for me anyway.”

He knows that Shane is just ribbing him for his earlier ‘old’ comment, but Ryan’s not in the mood to be ribbed. He’s in the mood to drink, fight, masturbate, and cry into his pillow. In that order. 

“Yeah, well, I  wouldn’t sleep with you even if you  _ weren't  _ my coworker slash roommate,” Ryan says as he shoves a beer into Shane’s hand. He sits down, so there’s enough room for Jesus to kind of squish in. It’s still too close to sit next to a man he both wants to punch and maybe also kiss after he finishes this drink. Shane’s only half paying attention to him as he types up an email on his computer and accepts the beer with an off-hand  _ thanks, babe _ . 

Ryan’s brain malfunctions for a brief moment. 

“What- what did you just call me?”

“Uh,” Shane looks up, computer screen glinting off his glasses as he thinks about it.  “Babe?”

“Pet names are off limits, bro.”

“Bro is a pet name,” Shane says because he can’t bear to lose an argument. 

“No, it’s not. It’s a term of platonic endearment. Bro-friends, you know? You don’t go around calling your bro-friend “babe” unless you want them to get the wrong idea, do you?”

“I guess.”

Shane goes back to typing.

Ryan finishes off his beer, goes for another, and kicks his feet back up onto Shane’s lap. Ryan’s aware that he should drop it. He should finish this beer off and go have a sad wank in his room. He should, but he doesn't. 

“You want me to tell you what I think, Shane?”

“No, but you’re going to tell me anyways.”

“I think you’re sending me mixed signals because you want me, but you don’t want to be the one who admits it. You know why?”

“Enlighten me, Ryan.”

“Because you’re scared that you’ll- you’ll never find an ass this sweet. You’re scared the second you fuck me, it’s over.”

“It’s over?”

“You’re mine.”

Shane raises his eyebrows, unimpressed. He slides his laptop onto the coffee table and rests his hands on Ryan’s ankle. 

“That’s what you think, Ryan?”

“Mhm.”

Ryan wiggles his toes, which is conveniently right next to Shane’s crotch area. His little toe nudges against Shane’s bulge. And, ok, wow….wow.  Ryan sucks in his breath as he remembers what a giggling intern has asked him earlier today.  _ Is it true what they say about Shane? That he’s big...everywhere?  _

He shakes his head, but it’s too late; when he looks up, Shane’s eyes are gleaming. 

“You know what  _ I  _ think, Ryan?”

The pitch of Shane’s voice has changed; it’s gone from just below a yawn to something deeper, something promising. Shane’s big hand curls around the arch of Ryan’s foot and starts to rub. He sensually rubs his hand down Ryan’s foot. 

Ryan flushes, mouth around the rim of the bottle. If Shane’s massage is going straight to his dick, he can blame it on the alcohol. Ryan slowly pulls the bottle from his lips with a soft  _ pop _ .

“Wha’?” 

Shane locks his eyes as his grip tightens on Ryan’s foot--

“I don’t need to fuck you, Ryan...not when you’re already my bitch.”

Ryan makes a noise in the back of his throat that falls somewhere between a gasp and a whimper.  

This would be the perfect time for Shane to shut up for once in his goddamn life. Not that he will, of course. He’s Shane Madej AKA the most unbearable, handsome jerk, that Ryan has ever had the displeasure of leasing an apartment with. 

Cue the awkward silence.

“You wish,” Ryan mutters and finishes off his third beer because he knows that it’s a lame comeback. He’s the horny version of hangry. Harny? Basically, he’s mad and his dick is getting hard, but what else is new?

_ Ryan, 0. Shane, 1.  _

“Am I wrong?” Shane asks and rubs down Ryan’s foot. He grins up at him and does that one smile. The one that makes his eyes do that crinkle and twinkle bullshit. 

Ryan - _knowing full goddamned well that it’s a bad idea_ \- wiggles his foot out of Shane’s grip to rub it up against Shane’s bulge. Shane’s whole body stiffens in surprise at the sudden move, and his cock does too. Oh yeah, it’s big _._ This is one unsolved mystery that Ryan has finally solved.

“ _ Ha _ !” Ryan says with all the logic of a giddy toddler as he presses the side of his foot into the growing hardness of Shane’s cock. “You want me too, so I- I win.”

It’s a hollow victory because Shane pushes Ryan’s feet off his lap and says, “No, sorry. I don’t sleep with sloppy college coeds.”

“I’m twenty-five, you pretentious Neanderthal!”

“But mentally still in a frat house.”

“You want me. Admit it.”

“Nah.”

“ _ Nah _ ?” Ryan repeats and crosses his arms. “Real fucking mature. Just admit you want me, you liar.”

“I’m not lying. I wouldn’t sleep with you while you’re like this, even if you weren’t my roommate slash coworker,” Shane says, in that annoying voice he uses when he starts to debunk one of Ryan’s theories. 

Ryan’s fuming. First stood up by his date and now rejected?! He almost storms off in a fit of rage, but he settles with, instead, proving his Shane-wants-me theory right. If there’s one thing Ryan can’t stand, it’s Shane being a know it all asshole, and, for the sake of all man and womankind, Shane needs to be knocked down a peg or two. 

Ryan wriggles up to sit next to Shane, so their thighs are flush. He leans his head against Shane’s shoulder. There's a quiet moment between them where Ryan can feel the air shift. He brushes his lips against Shane’s ear.

“Admit it. You want me. Bad.”

“Oh, like you can talk with that boner.”

Ryan flushes and looks down: “That’s a lie. I’m just a little semi but these jeans are so goddamned tight that it looks worse than it is.”

“Aw, is that it? Your pants too tight? Cause from where I’m sitting, it looks like you’re the one who wants me bad,  _ babe _ .”

“Shut up,  _ bro _ ,” he mutters as he reaches down to adjust himself under Shane’s gaze, and, ugh, that just makes the problem worse. They’re sitting so close together that it is Bad. This is all Bad with a Capital B, and Ryan can see the end. The end looks like Shane jerking down his jeans, bending him over this couch and fucking the shit out of him, and Ryan’s not cool with that. He’s a controlling little shit, and if they’re going to fuck, it’s going to be on  _ his  _ terms. 

Shane locks eyes with him and raises his eyebrow in a classic ‘You want this? Come beg to suck my dick.’ Ryan resists rolling his eyes. 

He reaches down and undoes his jeans with a loud zip. Shane’s eyes are hungry on him, waiting for him to crawl up onto his lap like some bitch, waiting for him to beg for it. But Ryan’s not going to. No, he might be light headed and flushed, but he’s not dumb. This is a game (it always is with them) and he doesn't plan on losing. Ryan takes nothing but big, fat W’s.

He kicks off his skinny jeans and announces, “Since you don’t want me and my sloppy ‘coed’ ass, I guess I’ll have to have fun myself.”

“Well,” Shane deadpans. “Should I leave you to it?”

Ryan pulls Shane’s laptop from the table: “Whatever you want.”

Shane shifts closer to drape his arm behind him. Shane’s scratchy stubble and soft lips catch against the soft skin of his neck. Ryan shivers in spite of himself as he opens up Google.

“What are you doing, Ryan?”

“Relieving the tension,” he snaps as Shane’s lips press what is most definitely a kiss into the side of his neck. It’s sensual and sweet and so, so Bad. It’s the kind of Bad where he wants to just give in and beg for more of what he shouldn’t have. Shane is only toying with him for shits and giggles. This means nothing, but, then again...so do all of Ryan’s hookups. 

He types in ‘gay college coeds’ and earns a sharp laugh from Shane. 

“You’re really going to do this?” Shane says, voice low and mocking against Ryan’s ear and he can hear the silent  _ instead of me _ .

“Yep. Just gonna watch porn and jerk off. My right hand is the only thing I can trust any more,” Ryan says and reaches down to rest his hand against his bulge. It happily twitches beneath his familiar touch. Shane makes a noise that’s half scoff and half growl as he’s ignored. If Ryan were a weaker man, he’d spread his legs just at that noise. But, no, he squeezes a hand around himself and turns on the video. 

The porn video stars a tall boy and a smaller one in a snapback because...of course it does. They’re wearing muscle t-shirts and making out on a messy bed. It’s amateur shit, but Ryan’s not picky. He happily rubs himself through his boxers even as the shame twists in his stomach. He’s never touched himself while someone watched. It’s intimate as fuck.

But Ryan doesn't stop. He strokes himself in sensual circles. He strokes around the head of his cock. Pre-cum soaks his boxers.as Shane leans back to watch. The boys on screen are shamelessly rutting against each other, and, oh god, Ryan’s turned on by the vogerism of watching them whilst Shane watches him. 

“Y-you really just g-gonna sit there and watch?”

“You mind if I join?”

“Don’t care,” Ryan gasps. Except he does care. He cares so much that his heart speeds up, and he has to pause for a moment, so he doesn't soak his undies right there and then. How embarrassing would that be? To just cum all over himself after a couple seconds of rubbing?

Ryan keeps his eyes firmly on the screen, but he can see Shane tugging down his pajama bottoms out of the corner of his eyes. His boxers are bright pink, which is odd because Ryan would never have pictured Shane in that color. He turns to look and- oh, wow, Big Mistake. They’re..

“My boxers!” 

“Oh? Are they? I just threw them on this morning but that explains why they’re so tight,” Shane says and runs his hand down himself. Fucking showoff. Ryan flushes as he takes in how sinful the big bulge of Shane’s cock looks straining against Ryan’s pathetically tiny pair. It’s better than porn.

“Take them off; they’re mine,” Ryan demands, voice squeaky.

“If you wanted to see my dick, babe...all you had to do was ask.”

As Shane slowly wiggles out of the tight, tight boxers, the porn is long forgotten.

Shane has a pretty cock, okay? It’s pretty and well shaped and...nice. There’s no better way to describe it. He’s seen his fair share of dick --most kinda weird looking-- but Shane’s is objectively pretty. Ryan’s not the kind of guy who likes to suck dick, but Shane’s cock is mouthwatering. He bites his lip.

“Like it?”

Ryan just sinks his teeth into his sensitive bottom lip as Shane’s big hand slowly strokes down his long shaft.

Silence. 

“YeahImeanisokay,” Ryan chokes out as he slips a hand into his own boxers, and, judging by Shane’s smirk, he knows that he’s won the argument. As if there was a prize for most suckable dick. 

He forces himself to tear his eyes away from Shane and back to the two boys on screen. The taller one’s fucking the smaller one so hard the bed shakes. Ryan squeezes a fist down his cock. He tries to concentrate on nothing but the pure pleasure and not on the proximity of Shane.

“Not such a bad way to end the night,” Shane says, faux cheerfully. “Just two bros jacking off to some porn together, right?”

“Shut up. God, do you ever just shut up,” Ryan groans as he slides his hand down his sensitive length and then back up. 

“Mh, what was that? I can’t hear you over the sound of you ogling my dick five seconds ago.”

“I wasn’t- ok, maybe I- I know you liked that I was checking you out!”

“Whatever helps you get off,  _ babe _ .”

Ryan swallows back a moan. His next stroke is harder than the one before.

“Don’t- don’t call me that!”

Shane snickers as his knee bumps against Ryan’s: “I’ll try not to let it get to my ego if you want me to fuck you.”

“And you, uhhh...want to? Want to fuck me, I mean?” Ryan asks as he glares at the screen. It’s the second time he’s asked, but it’s different when they’re both half naked like this. When they’re touching themselves.

_ Just say the fucking words, Shane. How hard is it to admit you want my sorry ass? I’m not asking for a ring. _

Shane’s big hand silently slips down to rest on Ryan’s thigh. His head spins as Shane squeezes him, and he’s startled by the moan that slips out of him. He can’t keep it from leaking out of his parted lips. 

When Ryan turns to glare at Shane, he realizes how close their mouths are. So picture this: he’s curled up on the coach with his hand wrapped around his cock. He’s a breath away from kissing Shane. There’s a hand on his thigh. Their little apartment seems to collapse and narrow down into the space between them. The last space they can’t cross over because….because…?

Shane’s lips ghost over his: “I want to hear you say it first.”

_ Snap.  _

“You know what?” Ryan pushes the laptop off his lap and onto the table. “For someone so tall, I always gotta- gotta be the bigger one, don’t I? Yes, I want to fuck you. Yes, you’d be so lucky if I rubbed my already prepped ass against your stupidly pretty dick. I don’t know what’s more inflated; your ego or your dick.”

“You...really think my dick is pretty?

“Oh, for god's sake, Shane. Come here.”

Shane tells him in the morning that Ryan made the first move, but he knows for a  _ fact  _ that Shane leans in just as he does. Their lips meet in the middle.  

All Ryan knows for sure is that he’s buzzed and angry and making out with his roommate slash coworker. 

Shane is the one who tugs Ryan’s boxers off and pulls him onto his lap, and it’s a fucking good thing that Ryan is prepped because he can’t wait any more. He’s slick and ready and aching for it, ok? He’s been aching to be filled all night, and, if it has to be Shane fucking Madej, fine. 

Fine, Ryan bites back his pride and sinks down onto Shane’s cock because he wants to, not because Shane whispers  _ babe  _ under his breath. He’ll bite the other boy’s shoulder because he wants to not because otherwise he’ll do something stupid like moan Shane’s name. 

His eyes flutter as Shane fills him up, and Ryan’s head is spinning at the sudden pleasure. His inner Shane laughs at him--  _ how is it sudden when you’ve been waiting all night for this? _

“That’s it, babe,” Shane praises as his hands fall to Ryan’s waist, but Ryan slaps them away. No, he’s gonna have this how he wants. 

“Don’t. Call. Me. That.”

With each word, Ryan drags himself up and fucks himself back down onto Shane’s cock. The burn is the best fucking pain he’s ever felt. His movements get faster and more erratic, and Ryan doesn't give a shit. They’re not making love. They’re fucking. Or, more specifically, Ryan is fucking himself on Shane’s cock. That’s right; he’s using his roomate slash coworker for sex, and it feels fucking amazing. Ryan is using Shane’s pretty cock like a fucking dildo, and Shane’s just sitting there and taking it, like he’s Ryan’s bitch. 

He cums first, but Shane’s right behind him. He comes all over Ryan’s stomach, and it’s kinda gross cause he still has his shirt on. They don’t cuddle. They just lie there, panting.

“For the record,” Shane says. “This was your idea, and I just want to be clear that this is strictly bros with benefits.”

Ryan just rolls over onto his stomach and falls asleep. When he wakes up in the morning, he’s aching. 

There’s a note from Shane. 

It reads---

_ Ten Rules to Fucking Around with Your Best Friend Slash Roommate _

_ 1) Don't kiss unless you want to have sex  _

_ 2) Don't fuck if completely sober  _

_ 3) Don't fuck when the other person has a date  _

_ 4) Don't get in the way of the other person finding love _

_ 5) No hickeys _

_ 6) No fucking around at work/ No PDA _

_ 7) No cuddling  _

_ 8) No sleeping in each other's beds _

_ 9) No pet names  _

_ 10) Don't fall in love, duh _

Ryan rolls his eyes. Well, duh. Who’s stupid enough to fall in love with Shane?


	2. Don't Sleep In His Bed

Ryan throws out the note because it’s stupid to have rules. Shane rescues it from the trash and pins it on their fridge with magnets that spell out ‘READ.’

If the category is ‘passive-aggressive behavior,’ Shane’s winning.

Ryan, 0. Shane, 10000000000000.

“What the…? Really, Shane? _Really_?! You don’t need to spell it out if it’s obvious,” Ryan groans as he slams open the fridge to scavenge for lunch after his morning power nap. The sight of his Chipotle makes his stomach turn.

 _No, thank you._ Ryan thinks wryly. _Looks like everything I wanted last night is shit in the morning._

“It’s important so we don’t get confused,” Shane says as he leans against the frame of the kitchen doorway. His body takes up the whole fucking thing like the slenderman he is. Ryan’s not sure how this dorky, annoying idiot had passed as ‘sexy.’ Then his eyes drift down to the casual bulge of Shane’s jeans and he swallows. Ok, yeah, that’s how.

“No one’s confused. It’s like you said last night...it was a one time thing.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Something like that -I don’t remember the _exact_ words- just the gist of it. I mean I was drunk and horny. You were bored and horny. My Grindr date was MIA, so...desperate times, right?” Ryan says as he finds a bottle of gatorade at the back of the fridge.

“I said that we were strictly bros with benefits, not that it was a one time thing.”

“Bros with-- _what_? Please, for the love of god, please remind me to vomit later,” Ryan says with a laugh as he twists open the drink. Shane crosses his arms. It’s clear he’s pissed about something, but Ryan’s not in the mood to play doting roommate, not when he can still feel Shane’s cock inside of him. He has Shane sized bruises on his hips.

“Oh, I don’t know. You seemed pretty into it last night.”

Ryan swallows and goes back to rummaging: “I can’t be held accountable for drunk Ryan. He’s a different man with simpler needs, okay? Drunk Ryan does stupid shit like watch co-ed porn. Things sober Ryan would never…uh….you know…things he’d never do.”

“Like sleep with me?”

_Awkward silence. Agh. Fuck._

“Uhhh, I mean. Yeah. Yeah, like that.”

“Right back at’chu.”

“Ok, good.”

“Good.”

“Great.”

“Great,” Shane repeats with a sigh.”Are we done fighting now?”

Ryan closes the fridge and hops up onto the counter top to sip his Gatorade in peace. All he wants is to get all this poison out of his body. He knows that he’s going to drink next weekend, but, right now, he’d be happy if he never sees alcohol again. He reaches behind him to find his favorite hangover food-- bananas.

“We’re not fighting we’re talking,” Ryan sighs as he peels open the banana. “Like, we’re best friends and roommates and coworkers and- wow. That’s a mouthful. So we’re _all_ of that, and, to add anything as uncertain and stupid as sex is...stupid. You’re a man of logic, Shane; it doesn't make any sense, does it?”

“It’s hard to take you seriously while you’re peeling a banana in your boxers.”

Shane steps forward, so he’s a foot away from Ryan. Far enough to not be weird but close enough that Shane could reach out and rest his hand on Ryan’s open thighs. Shane doesn't. He just kind of hovers there. Ryan’s cheeks heat up as he wraps his lips around the tip of the banana and meets Shane’s eyes. Now that he’s perched on the counter, he’s finally eye level to Shane, and it’s awful. Awful.

Ryan’s not sure where this tension came from, but, uhhh, it can stop.

He takes a slow bite and looks down at the floor. No that’s bad. Now it looks like he’s eating a banana staring at Shane’s dick, but- but come on! There’s no heterosexual way to eat a banana. He swallows, peels the banana back up, and puts it away.

“Please, for once in your life, Shane, be serious.”

Shane looks like he wants to take a step forward even as he takes one back. He puts his arms up in mock defeat.

“No, yeah, obviously jeopardizing our friendship and job is stupid. We’re not doing that. You’re free to hook up with all the Grindr douchebags you want-”

“Not all of them are douchebags.”

“Debatable, but that’s not the point. The point is that I’m free to go find the girl of my dreams. You’re free to find the not-douchebag of your dreams. We’re free and it’s great...but...I mean- that’s what the rules are for. For when we want to be free with each other,” Shane finishes with the gusto of a man used to talking out of his ass for a living.

Ryan crosses his arms.

“We don’t need the rules cause it won’t happen again.”

“But if it does.”

“It won’t.”

“I mean maybe it won’t, but we can’t control what drunk Shane and Ryan do, so if, _if_ , it does, there’s guidelines to…” Shane trails off and throws up his hands again. “Fuck, okay. You get the idea. Forget I brought it up while we’re sober. Anyways, want some pancakes?”

“Yeah,” he says and swings his legs. “Pancakes sound good.”

Shane stirs together the pancake batter, and Ryan stays on the edge of the counter.

It’s...strange. Usually, he’s out on date on the weekends or doing research. It’s a nice strange though, Ryan thinks. His chest tightens as he watches Shane flip pancakes, and Ryan clears his throat. The fluttering makes him shake his head and he decides there and then---

“On second thought, it’s better to have the rules than not to have them.”

“Whoa! You did a fast 360 there and came to your senses,’” Shane says with an eye-crinkling grin.

“Listen, I, sober Ryan, don’t plan on hooking up with you, but I’m not responsible for things Drunk Ryan and Drunk Shane get up to. So I’m just going to support the rules now rather than have to explain myself later.”

Shane nods and that’s it. Poof. Tension gone.

Ryan smiles to himself as he pours thick maple syrup onto his share of the pancakes. The throbbing in his head and ass lessens up as the painkillers kick in, and he’s humming a little tune to himself. Everything’s normal between them, and it’s great.

“Thank god we’re not prone to drama.”

“I mean you tried your damnedest to cause drama by destroying the list,” Shane says with a laughs as he cuts his pancakes into pieces.

“I’m a mature twenty five year old man, who can admit when I’m wrong. The list’s a good idea, bro.”

Shane mouths ‘bro’ and shakes his head: “You know there’s a rule against pet names, right?”

“Bro is not a pet name. I can’t believe we’re having this argument again.”

“The way you say it makes it a pet name. Your voice goes all soft.”

“Uhhh...sorry for my voice, dude?”

“Don’t apologize. You know I love your voice, babe.”

Ryan chokes on his pancakes.

“ _That_! That is a pet name, and I will not allow it under my roof. It has only been a couple hours since the inception of the list, and we can’t even follow all the rules.”

Shane shrugs: “I should add a clause: you can use pet names if it’s funny.”

Ryan remembers last night how Shane had said ‘babe’ as Ryan had slid down onto him and neither of them were laughing, but he doesn't bring it up. That was a lawless pre-rule era. Now, they’re smarter, more civilized men.

They finish up breakfast --or maybe it’s lunch-- and go to their separate rooms.

He’s glad that they didn't make it weird. That’s what Ryan hates about sex, it makes things complicated. It’s one of the rules; as hookup intensity increases, level of awkwardness intensifies. But the Laws of Hook Up didn’t account for their list.

Ryan spends the last hours of sunshine losing himself in his research. By the time Ryan reemerges, he’s tired and starving for his Chipotle leftovers. He should have known when he walked into the kitchen to find Shane drinking a beer and eating Ryan’s goddamned Chipotle that they were going to break a rule tonight.

Shane looks up and gives him a sheepish smile: “It’s not what it looks like?"

“How do I- how do I phrase this? Oh yeah, I hate your fucking guts. I hope that’s absolutely, abundantly clear,” Ryan jokes, punches Shane in the shoulder, and grabs a spoon from the drawer.

He pulls his chair so close to Shane’s that their thighs are pressed up together. Shane’s eyes light up and he licks his lips.

“Oh boy. Am I gonna see the wrath of Ryan again?”

“Again?”

“You know…” Shane trails off and lowers his voice. “You were pretty assertive last night, weren’t you? Got me all hot and bothered.”

Ryan flushes: “That’s, um, I- oh god, we should add a rule about not talking about ‘last night.’ All activities that take place after a certain level of intoxication should be banned. But I have a feeling you’d- you’d still find a way to talk about it. Loopholes and what not.”

Shane smirks as Ryan struggles to form his thoughts into coherent sentences. Shane looks so fucking good just chillin’ in his pajamas. The same ones that Ryan fucked him in last night. Ryan’s fingers curl around his spoon as Shane’s naked toes brush against his under the table.

“You know I do have a way of getting through tight...loopholes.”

“Can you- uh, maybe just eat the goddamned food? Maybe?”

“Mh, maybe,” Shane says as he rubs his foot against Ryan’s. “Maybe we could watch a movie after this. Something spooky.”

“Are you- are you really trying to Netflix and Chill with me because that’s- _no_. No, we’re not doing that.”

Ryan pulls his feet up to sit criss-cross applesauce. There will be no footsie tonight. Or any night.

“Aw, come on. I know how hard you’ve been working, and you could use a break. I’m not saying sleep over...I’m saying come over to watch something.”

Ryan almost rolls his eyes. Psssh, yeah, sure. Shane is as transparent as he is handsome.

“Does that work on the chicks you go out with?”

Shane shrugs: “If we’re being honest here...yeah. It usually does work.”

Ryan turns his attention back to the food that he was eating before Shane attempted to spark his hunger for something else.

“Nothing sexier than a boy stealing your Chipotle and trying to get you to put out.”

Shane finishes off his beer. Ryan’s aware that this is just the reverse of last night, where he was the drunk, needy one. Now, Shane’s coming for his needy title.

“Ok. But what if I swear to you that I won’t touch you? I know it’s hard to remember Ryan, but we are still friends and friends can just, _platonically_ , watch a movie together. There will be no dick sucking...unless, of course, you wanted to.”

“I don’t suck dick.”

“No? Why not?”

“Just don’t.”

“Never?”

“Well, obviously I have, but...in general, no,” Ryan mumbles into his spoon. “Also, for a supposedly platonic rendezvous in your bed, there’s been alotta talk about dick.”

This is the most intimate Chipotle leftover dinner that Ryan’s ever had.

“I’ll let you pick all the videos you watch, and if I try anything, you have my permission to slap me. Hard.”

“Sounds kinky,” he nervously laughs and twists around to read the rules behind them.

 _Aha_!

“There’s, uh, there’s one here that says ‘no sleeping in each other's beds.’”

“Don’t worry, Cinderella. You’ll return to your room before midnight strikes.”

“No happy endings...got it?”

“Only salty loneliness. Got it.”

Ryan sighs out a _fine_ , and he has a hard time staying mad when Shane’s smiling at him like that. Boy, he really is soft for this Sasquatch, isn’t he?

He pops some popcorn and decides that they should watch the third Thor movie. A scary movie might end with him in Shane’s lap, the last place he needs to be while this painfully sober.

Ryan hesitates at the fridge. _You just swore off alcohol for the rest of the weekend,_ he chastises himself as his fingers hover over the fridge handle. _No. Stop. You just want an excuse to have him inside you again._

In the end, Ryan’s consciousness wins over the lazy, lustful part of his brain that would be content crawling up under the covers with Shane and rubbing himself off against his leg.

He pads over to Shane’s room and knocks, feeling vaguely ridiculous. They never chill in each other’s rooms. It’s not the kind of thing that they did before...Ryan rubs his hand over the bruise marks on his hips. Before that.

Shane’s lounging under the covers already, and, wow, he looks good. Objectively, Shane’s the kind of dude Ryan would swipe right for. Arousal curls in the pit of his stomach as he climbs up onto the bed.

“You should get under the covers for...warmth.”

“Oh, you are- you are just so transparent. Hands up where I can see them,” Ryan wheezes as his face heats up.

Shane raises his hands: “I solemnly swear.”

“That you’re up to no good?”

“Always.”

Ryan’s head spins as he obediently slips under the covers, and he positions a pillow between their torso’s.

Shane laughs, “A pillow, _really_?! I’m starting to think the lady doth protest too much.”

“Sh-shuddup.”

He’s become the kind of guy that he hated in college. The guy who went for boys who were emotionally unavailable and just there for a piece of ass. Shane’s made it abundantly clear that he’s in it for the sex, and Ryan’s being a complicit bitch. It takes some real cognitive dissonance to climb into bed with the same guy you swore never to fuck again, but here Ryan is...smiling up at Shane like an idiot.

Ryan should have brought his own blankets. He should of- well, he should have never agreed to this. This is one of those Bad ideas that will end with Ryan on top of Shane, riding him like he’s never felt anything as good as Shane’s cock inside him. Shane’s not even the Big Bad Wolf here; Ryan’s just a thirsty little bitch. Plain and simple.

Ryan hits play, and the movie lights up their faces.

Shane’s true to his word. He doesn't lay a hand on Ryan, but, as the movie progresses, his foot siddles closer and closer. First just the pinky toe. Then he’s gently teasing his foot up and down the arch of Ryan’s foot. He gives Ryan...the eye. It should be an ugly cliche, but Shane’s stupidly handsome. Ryan’s cock twitches. Pathetic.

“Dude, you got like a foot fetish or something?”

“Well...you said no hands,” Shane says, faux-innocent. “Gotta make do.”

Shane does The Classic yawn-and-stretch around Ryan’s shoulder.

“Really?” Ryan groans but doesn't move away. “Are you really pulling these lame ass moves on me?”

“They’re lame, but, boy, they sure do work. And if you haven’t noticed, I don’t usually have boys in my bed, babe.”

Oh fuck, that’s the millionth fucking time he’s called Ryan ‘babe,’ isn’t it? The ‘no pet names’ rule was made to be broken.

“So...you’re treating me like a girl?”

Typical heteronormative behavior. Shane doesn't believe in labels (whatever that means) but he sure is acting like a Straight Dude™ right now.

“I’m treating you like…” Shane leans in to press his mouth to Ryan’s ear. “Like I want to be inside of you.”

“ _Uhhhh…_?”

Ryan’s brain goes blank as he stiffens. Is this- is this the same boy who refused to admit he wanted to fuck Ryan last night? It’s amazing what a little alcohol and a taste of Ryan’s amazing fucking skills can do to change a boy’s attitude. If Ryan was drunk, it’d be over, he would be digging his fingers into Shane’s broad shoulders and sinking down on that big cock.

Thankfully (or maybe tragically) he is sober.

Ryan throws a bit of popcorn up at Shane’s stupid face.

“Nice try, Romeo, but I’m gonna need more convincing.”

And Shane’s eyes glint because he hasn’t heard a clear _no_. The word is on the tip of Ryan’s tongue, but he can’t form the sounds. The low simmer of arousal from before spikes as Shane’s fingers sink down into his shoulder, and it’s way too close to an embrace. Ryan’s silence is deafening as Shane nuzzles into the crook of Ryan’s neck like the horny (big) boy he is.

Ryan’s cock twitches at the soft pecks. He squeezes his fingertips down into the computer as Shane’s lips approach his collar bone. It’s so- so weird to have Shane all over him like this, practically begging for him, and Ryan’s overwhelmed with his desire to just give in...just spread his legs and....

And if Ryan was true to his word, he’d push Shane away with a firm _no_. Instead, he’s tilting his neck a little to give Shane more access. Ryan has a humiliating flashback of himself declaring that he’d never fuck Shane again. Ha.

“Convincing enough?” Shane hums against his skin, and, when he reaches down to squeeze Ryan’s thigh, he instinctively slaps the invading fingers away.

“N-no hands.”

The movie is playing, but, just like last night, no one’s watching.

Ryan’s eyes glaze over as Shane presses an apologetic kiss into the crook of his neck. He can still feel the imprint of Shane’s strong fingers squeezing down into him, and all this intimacy is going straight to his cock. He’s not sure which rule this is breaking -if any- but it feels wrong. He regrets not grabbing that drink from the fridge.

“Oh, but….I can use things besides hands, right?”

Ryan slowly closes the laptop at that and shoves it onto the bedside table. Without the light from the laptop, they’re cast into blissful darkness. He could never fool around with Shane in the day time. At least in the dark, he can shut off his brain and his screaming consciousness.

“ _Uhh,_ yeah, sure,” Ryan says, a mixture of embarrassed and aroused at the admission. He’s embarrassingly aroused.

How fast the mighty fall under the kisses of a handsome boy.

Shane pushes aside the pillow, cups Ryan’s face, and mutters, “Good choice.”

Ryan parts his lips as Shane pushes him down into the mattress and rolls half on top of him. There lips meet him, and ohhh, wow. Maybe he is drunk. His tingling fingertips and racing heartbeat tell him that’s he in an altered state. He’s drunk off the way that Shane’s beard tingles against his face as he kisses away all of his reluctance. Shane is heavy and hot on top of him, and Ryan’s not sure he’s breathing anymore. Then Shane’s legs pushes up between his open thighs, rubbing against the bulge of his cock, and it sends an electric shiver down his spin.

Oh god, that’s good.

His brain is mentally breaking down as he struggles to think of anything other than. _Uhhh. Shane’s lips on mine. Uhhhh. Shane’s big fingers on my face. Uhhhh. Shane’s leg rubbing up on me._

He’s flushed and fully erect by the time that Shane pulls back. A string of saliva connects their parted lips. They’re panting hard, and there’s no going back now. No, Ryan’s crossed an invisible line in his own head as he -drunk off nothing but adrenaline- wraps his fingers in Shane’s hair to pull him back down, but Shane The Asshole Madej hovers over him, waiting.

“So is that a yes?” Shane asks like he doesn't already know the answer.

“Dude. Wh-what do you think? My raging hard on not enough of a yes for you?”

Shane snickers against his lips: “It’s nice to hear a ‘yes’ after a whole day of ‘no.’”

He tightens his grip in Shane’s hair and mutters out the world’s most bitter _yes_.

“Good.”

Shane trails kisses down the exposed parts of Ryan’s chest as he moves down….then he’s perching over the slight roundness of his tummy, pressing kisses into the softness...then...

True to his word, Shane uses no hands to take off Ryan’s sweatpants or underwear. He uses his teeth like a fucking animal, and as his hot breath ghosts over Ryan’s cock, it’s all Ryan can do not to cum all over himself. His cock springs up against his tummy, and he’s pathetically hard. Shane presses the softest kiss against the head, and, oh- oh! That’s an image Ryan wants to replay over and over again. But if he looks any more, he might sloppily undulate all over Shane’s stupidly handsome face.

“Mh, you look very convinced from down here,” Shane says, and his voice is too smug. He sounds like he’s a breath away from snickering, and, fuck, Ryan wants to roll his eyes out of his head. Shane is the world’s biggest tease.

“I- I swear to god- if you don’t- _ah_ ,” Ryan’s cut off as Shane’s tongue leaves a wet trail down the length of him. Shane pulls back, and a bead of shining saliva connects his tongue to Ryan’s impossibly red cock. His hips desperately buck up, eager to be inside Shane’s hot mouth.

“Oh, someone’s convinced now.”

“Shane! Co-come on!”

“What’s the magic word?”

“Fuck off.”

“Oh, so close, but…” Shane kisses Ryan’s thigh and looks up at him with glittering eyes. “Not close enough.”

Ryan groans. Only Shane could make a blowjob the most stressful part of his night. All he wants to do is turn his brain off, but every teasing inflection of Shane’s voice just turns him on.

“You know, oh god,” Ryan hisses as Shane lightly licks the head of his dick, catching a drop of precum. “You know I hate you, right?”

“I know, baby. I know.”

Ryan’s not going to beg. He’s not going to do anything as embarrassing as beg. Shane, who’s doing nothing but lazily licking the length of Ryan’s cock, should be humiliated, not him. Shane should be embarrassed at how shit he is he is at sucking dick. He’s lapping at Ryan’s cock like he’s never given head before, which Ryan wouldn’t be surprised at. He’s literally licking Ryan like he’s used to eating out pussy. All Ryan wants to do is fuck the hot suction of Shane’s mouth, and the desire helps to flush all the dignity out of him.

“If you- if suck me off, I’ll let you fuck me,” Ryan grits as he sinks his fingers down into the sheets. It’s not begging, not exactly, but he knows that he’s given Shane everything he wanted and it kills him.

“Compromise looks good on you.”

 _My dick will look better in your mouth_ , Ryan thinks but doesn't vocalize as Shane parts his lips and moves forward. He looks up at Ryan, and their eyes lock the second before Shane sinks down onto Ryan’s cock.

The visual of Shane’s lips wrapping around his cock threatens to send him spilling over the edge. His naked toes curl in the blankets as Shane reaches down almost all the way. So fucking hot.

“I ca-can’t believe an old man like you knows how to do something like this,” Ryan gasps as Shane makes it all the way down. Shane’s eyes gleam, and when he laughs, Ryan can feel the vibrations against his throbbing cock.

He wants to put his hands in Shane’s hair to move him down his cock. He wants to fuck Shane’s warm mouth and fill it up with his cum. He wants to use Shane’s throat like a fuck toy, but, somehow, he stops himself. Instead, Ryan hides his face in his elbow and lets Shane set the pace. Ryan’s mind goes blissfully quiet as Shane moves up and down his dick, and, oh, wow, he’s never loved Shane’s mouth as much as he does now.

This is filthier than he thought a man like Shane could ever act like. Last night was all about Ryan taking what he wanted, but, tonight, it’s Shane turn to rip out all the desperate, needy noises Ryan never knew he had in him.

He softly moans, “Yeah, just like that, god.”

Shane Fucking Madej pulls off Ryan’s dick with a gentle pop: “No need to call me god. I prefer Shane.”

“Di-did you really stop sucking my dick just to say that? I- I swear, you’re a fucking demon,” Ryan huffs and this time he does grab Shane’s hair. “Keep going. Now.”

Shane licks his lips: “There’s assertive Ryan. You get me all hot when you take control like that, you know?”

“Yo-you like it when I take control, huh? Th-then get sucking, bitch,” Ryan snaps, and it sounded cooler in his head. In reality, his voice is squeaky and desperate. Shane’s eyes darken as he obediently parts his lips and slides his mouth down around the head of Ryan’s cock.

It doesn't take more than a minute of Shane slowly bobbing his head up and down before Ryan’s stomach muscles are clenching. He pulls Shane off and cums on his stupidly handsome face. When Shane licks the cum dripping down his flushed-just-fucked face, it’s the most glorious and terrible sight Ryan’s ever seen. Even though he’s just cum, his brain’s still going wild. He’s creating a new file in his memory titled ‘masturbation material,’ and it’s filled with the glorious way that Shane just lapped up his cum.

Shane’s fingers brush down to Ryan’s hole: “My turn?”

Ryan sits up all the way and slaps Shane’s hands away. No hands. If there’s one rule he’s going to enforce for tonight, that’s it.

“You got lube?”

“Bottom drawer.”

“For the record,” Ryan snaps as he kicks off his sweats. “This is strictly because you managed to shut up for a whole minute to suck my dick, and, frankly, I’m impressed.”

Ryan’s still loose from last night, so it doesn't take more than a minute to open himself up with his fingers. Shane’s eyes are hot on him, watching as his fingers curve inside of himself, and the heat makes his spent cock twitch. Ryan flushes and looks away as he sinks his fingers into himself.

When he turns back around, Shane’s rucked down his pajama, and he’s shamelessly looking at Ryan with those twinkling eyes. Ryan feels anger flare up in his chest -anger or something else close to it- and he wants to fuck the shit out of this smug asshole.

So he does.

He fucks Shane like he promised that he wouldn’t do just an hour before. He sinks his fingers down into Shane’s neck, a little too hard, and fucks himself until it’s hard to breath. Ryan throws his head back and lets himself enjoy it again. Because he does love this. He loves cock, how it feels buried deep inside of him. How it presses into that magical spot and sends shivers down his spine.

By the time they’re done, he’s cum twice, and Shane’s splattered all over Ryan’s thighs. Ryan collapses onto the covers, and it feels like he’s just run a fucking marathon. He’s spineless. Boneless. In the back of his head, he remembers the rule against bed sharing, but it’s too late.

 _Whatever_ . Ryan thinks as he drifts off. _Sex is just sex. One or two broken rules won’t change that._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading!!!!! I love y'all so much for the kudos and comments. It keeps a bitch going strong. Look for a new chapter around Friday-ish. 
> 
> (and message Nina thank u for being a good friend cause she's a REALLY good friend and beta reader) ((legit she's been so kind to me, and I'm trying to return some of that kindness back))


	3. Don’t Be Jealous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Dubiously consensual hickeys. Sad sex.

Ryan holds his breath Monday morning, waiting for someone to notice that their dynamic has shifted. Except it hasn't changed, not really. Shane still teases him, and Ryan gets annoyed, as usual. It's a relief; Ryan would hate if their casual sex-capades ruined their seriously brilliant friendship.

He's especially glad that nothing's off because the cute intern has been making eyes at him. When he goes to get coffee, the pink haired boy flashes him a smile.

Ryan returns it and clears his throat: "Hey, I haven't seen you around here before. My name's Ryan."

"James. And I know who you are," the boy gushes and tugs at the belt loops of his tight, tight jeans. Ryan does an appreciative once over, and...well, Ryan’s not exactly out at work, but he's not _not_ out. Sure, he hasn't made a loudspeaker announcement 'Hi, my name is Ryan Bergara and I like dick,' but people know.

"Ah, a fan?" Ryan says as he reaches for the coffee pot at the same time as James. Their fingers brush. James bites his lip and lets his fingers linger for a moment before pulling away. Uh, wow, that's forward.

"Mhm. Here, lemme make you a cup. Go back to your desk; I'll bring it you."

Ryan tries to refuse, but the boy insists. He thanks him and, with a bounce in his step, heads back to his desk. After a weekend of rejection and sloppy Shane seconds, Ryan's happy to be desired. He knows he's good looking, but reassurance is nice. Shane looks up at him and raises his eyebrows at Ryan's face. The source of his giddiness is right on his heels with a warm cup and smile.

"I'm a big, big fan of both of y'all," James says but he never looks away from Ryan. "Let me know if there's anything else you need-"

"I could use a coffee," Shane cuts in.

James ignores him.

"Seriously, _anything_ at all."

Ryan smiles after him and follows the sway of that ass in those tight, tight jeans. Nice. When he turns around, Shane's lips have formed a fake smile. The kind that might fool anybody else, but not Ryan. Listen, he's had those fucking lips around his cock; he can tell a real smile from a fake one.

He's not in the mood to ask 'why,' so he turns back to his computer.

Shane swivels his chair closer to him and mutters, "He was quite rude, not getting me a drink, don't you think?"

Ryan just takes a sip of coffee. _Does Shane not realize why this intern was being nice to me?_ Ryan notices a number scrawled into the side of the coffee. He turns the cup so Shane can see the number and taps it.

"Ah, right. I forget that there's no such thing as a free cup of coffee. Well, color me surprised, Ryan. Three days ago you were going for hot douchebags, and now you've converted to dorky douchebags," Shane says, voice deceivingly light.

"Oh, please. You never approve of any of the guys I go after."

"I would if you had better taste."

 _Yeah, right._ Shane's professionally trained to disagree with Ryan. It's what he does best. Ryan takes another sip of the coffee and tries to go back to his work, but Shane won't let it go.

"So...you're going after him then?"

"Maybe," Ryan says with a shrug and traces his finger over the phone number on his cup. "I'm surprised you care."

"I don't."

Ryan turns sharply to stare straight into Shane's eyes. They're a little darker than before, and the glimmer has dimmed.

"Mh, tell that to your face."

"My face is concerned for my friend's lack of taste,” Shane says and then lowers his voice to barely above a whisper. “I will self evict if I wake up to find the intern padding around our apartment and helping himself to my coffee."

To be honest, Ryan wasn’t actually planning to call James. Ryan prefers to bottom, and this boy is....well, he's clearly also a bottom. Two bottoms don't make a top. Still, it's funny to see Shane ranting over something so stupid.

"Guess you'll just have to learn how to play nice with my new boyfriend like I do with all your girlfriends. You know I hated Veronica."

"Veronica had an amazing personality-"

"Is that what you're calling boobs these days?" Ryan snorts and then adds, "Oh, and don't forget the rule about interfering in the other person's love life."

"I'm not getting in the way of you finding love. If you really think Mr. Douchey Coffee is your soulmate, go right ahead. Get married. But on your wedding day, I'm not going to forget that he ignored me."

Ryan rolls his eyes: "Okay, dude. Whatever. Be sure to write down your disapproval in your best man speech."

They fall into uneasy silence after that.

It only gets worse back at their apartment. Shane breaks the silence to mention watching another movie, but Ryan's not having it. _Fuck no, baby._ He'd rather masturbate alone then wake up alone in this self righteous asshole's bed. Again. He excuses himself to his room under the premise of finishing up some work, and, for the rest of the week, he either goes straight to his room or stays later and later at the office. When they're alone together, Ryan's taken to swiping through Grindr. Eventually, Shane notices and re-downloads 'Bumble' or 'Tinder,' so he can also swipe. If this is a game, the category is-- 'who can give less of a shit?' So far they're tied, but Shane's starting to crack.

The first big crack shows Friday morning when Ryan goes to get a cup of coffee, and Shane grabs his wrist. The taller man stands up with a gruff _I'll go_. Ryan's caught off guard, so he accepts. Then he looks up to see James the intern swaying his tight, tight jeans by the coffee station.

Interesting. 

Ryan crosses his arms as he feels a lump forming in his throat. He wish that he could understand exactly what he was feeling in this moment. Well, he's not smiling, if that's any indication, but he's also not frowning. His mouth is just dumbly parted as he tries to put together all the pieces of this puzzle. What is Shane's game? Should he play along? Or are they already playing? 

Shane comes back with the cup of coffee and, jeez, there's just really so much fucking tension over some drinks, huh? Ryan smiles tightly and then waves over at James, who immediately flounces over. Ryan's not sure why he's pushing this when he doesn't really want to sleep with James, not really. Maybe he just doesn't like how Shane is trying to influence who he does and doesn't sleep with. Yes, that's it! Ryan grabs onto the excuse as he not so subtly flirts with James. He's a free man, after all, who can fuck whoever the fuck he wants. A minute later his phone buzzes.

_I swear to god...if you sleep with this dick -S_

_What? Go on. -R_

_I'll bend you over the kitchen counter and..._

There's a pause, and Ryan looks over his shoulder to where Shane's sitting behind him. There's a rule against flirting at work on The List but not against sexting, so Ryan guesses this is...ok. Ok-ish. He takes a sip of his coffee.

_What? Fuck me? -R_

_Spank your annoying ass -S_

Ryan covers his mouth to stop himself from spraying the drink all over his monitor. _Uhhh, the fuck?_ This is not what he ordered. Sex with Shane has been fairly vanilla up until now, and that's how Ryan likes it. He likes to be the one in control. He likes to be on top, fingers squeezing into Shane's broad shoulders, and taking his pleasure how he wants. Now, though...the image of Shane forcing him down onto their cold granite counter is...wow. Ryan squirms and crosses his leg as his cock twitches a happy _yes_. 

_Uhhh, no -R_

_You're not serious -R_

_No, you're right. I think it's better over my knee. More personal that way -S_

_I don't like submissive shit -R_

_Oh, I know. You're too much of a control freak. -S_

_But you'd love it if I bent you over and took control for once, wouldn't you? You'd love being my baby, babe. -S_

Ryan's cock throbs at the _baby_ , and he can't help but imagine it now. Shane's big hand splayed on his naked ass, rubbing it. The other hand firmly on his back, holding him in place. Ryan bites his thumb and shakes his head. Oh god, he's been five days clean of Shane and now this shit? He texts Shane a simple _shut up_. Great, now he's semi and sexually frustrated, and-

“Hey, James! So, uhhh, I was wondering what you were doing later?"

"No plans," the boy reassures him with a thousand watt smile that is dim in comparison to the murderous glare Shane's shooting at Ryan's back.

They agree to meet up at a new bar that opened up in LA, and Ryan's pleased at how pissed Shane is. Who knew it'd be so fun fucking with his fuck buddy?

When Ryan gets up to go to the bathroom, Shane follows him a little too closely. Ryan's heart speeds up as Shane's fingers brush against the small of his back, directing him towards a stall. He's not sure what's happening here. He was honest to god just going to pee, but Shane's got other plans.

The taller man pushes him inside the stall and locks the door. Ryan crosses his arms and looks up at Shane with a _can I help you?_ glare. It's funny how Shane had insisted that Ryan was the young, immature one, but he's acting like a petulant five-year-old.

Shane leans in, so he's in Ryan's space, trapping him with his broad arms and the sheer bulk of his body. Ryan flushes when he meets Shane's dark eyes and remembers Shane’s earlier promise to spank him. _Him! A grown ass man!_

"You can't stop me or change my mind, so don’t try.”

Shane leans down, so his lips are pressed to Ryan's ear: "Maybe I can't stop you...but I can stop him."

"W-what the fuck does that mean- uhhh, what the fuck, dude?" Ryan gasps as Shane rips open his top buttons. It's like Sunday night all over again when Shane had pulled down Ryan's sweats with nothing but his teeth. Ryan swallows, his naked adam's apple bobbing up and down. _What fucking demon have I summoned in the place of my best friend?_

He reaches up to push Shane away, but the other man just grabs his wrists and pins them against the stall.

"Relax," Shane says in a sweet sing song voice. "A hickey never hurt nobody."

Ryan flushes and squirms against Shane's tight, tight grip.

He's never realized just how strong Shane actually is. All of their hookup encounters have ended with Ryan taking control, but- but now that he thinks about it...maybe Shane was just pretending to submit, just biding his time.

This dominant side, though he's never seen it before in the bedroom (er, bathroom), seems more like Shane's natural state. Ryan can tell by the glimmer of his eyes that he loves having Ryan pressed up against the stall, loves having him so helpless. Ryan said he didn't like being submissive, but, well, Ryan says a lot of shit. Not all of it true.

He squeezes his eyes shut: "Shane. This isn't- isn't appropriate. Anyone could walk in."

"Don't worry. They'll just think it's one of the many gay men at Buzzfeed hooking up."

Ryan flushes darker and tears sting the corners of his eyes.

"I hav- have to go, Shane. You want me to wet myself?"

"Whatever you need to do, baby," Shane says, voice a mocking tenor, and he's serious.

Shane, who's never been serious a goddamned day in his life, is fucking serious. So either Ryan's going to wet himself or allow Shane to give him a hickey. Neither are great options, but a hickey is less embarrassing.

"O-okay. Fine. Just do it quick.”

“You sure?”

“Yes! Just hurry before I- _oh_."

Shane presses his lips to Ryan's neck like a fucking vampire and sucks down, hard. Ryan whimpers and squirms in Shane's grip. It's humiliating being held down like this, and, really, it's even more confusing because he desperately needs to go but he also desperately needs to cum. He squeezes his thighs together, hoping that he doesn't embarrass himself before Shane's done with him.

Shane sucks down into his neck so hard and tight it feels like a bite. Ryan's making embarrassing little noises as the pain in his stomach tightens and his cock twitches. Shane lets him go with a 'pop,’

"D-done?" Ryan whimpers as Shane inspects his handiwork and releases Ryan's wrists. It couldn't have been more than a minute of sucking, but Ryan's legs are shaking. His heart's pounding. He aches in ways that he's never ached before.

"Done. That wasn't so bad, was it?"

And just like that dark Shane is gone.

"I wasn't going to sleep with James until...until you just did that," Ryan hisses as he re-buttons his collar with trembling fingers. All he wanted to do was fuck himself on Shane's cock, and now he's the one getting fucked in the middle of the day. No good fuck goes unpunished, huh? Ryan's pissed off and he needs to piss so bad that he might kill Shane.

"Mh, good luck with that bruiser on your neck. He'll know it’s fresh."

"If you don't leave this stall right now!”

"Sorry, sorry," Shane says and puts his hands up like he wasn't just using them to pin Ryan down moments ago. He still hasn’t left though.

“Now!”

As Shane leaves, Ryan realizes that it can never be the same; they've opened Pandora's sex box. The previous sex hadn't made things weird because...because Ryan hadn't been fucking with the real Shane. Now, he'd just seen first hand what Shane looks like when he's deep in the throes of passion, and, boy, is it terrifying.

Terrifyingly arousing that is.

What would it be like to have Shane dominate him like that in bed? The question makes him shiver.

He tries to recall their earlier encounters, tries to remember if Shane had ever acted like... _this_. But no. This is really their first, in a way. The first time they’ve been pressed up against each other sober. The first time they’ve acted in the light of day. The first time but not the last time. That’s for sure.

Ryan washes his hands and splashes water on his face. Oh no, he looks well fucked. His cheeks are red, eyes dilated, and the bruise...how did it purple that quickly? It looks like a demon used him for a chew toy. Ryan should really snap pics of this and submit it as evidence to the FBI that Shane is not human. He pops the collar of his shirt, but the hickey still shines through.

James doesn't say anything as Ryan walks out of the restroom looking like a disaster, but Ryan can feel his energy shift as he looks from Ryan to Shane to-

_Fuck, he knows._

"You know if you're not feeling this afternoon...?"

"Uh, no I'm still down. But whatever's best for y'all," James says and jerks his head back at Shane's desk.

"Don't worry about that. There's no ‘y'all’ if you get my gist," Ryan says and then clarifies. "I'm single."

"Well, if you don't see a problem, I don't see one either."

Ryan doesn't look at Shane when he leaves, but the bruise on his neck tingles uncomfortably as his fingers brush against James.

They go to a bar and drink until James puts his hand on Ryan's thigh. Ryan is hungry for something, but he's just not sure it's this. He's craving something that he can't name.

Ryan swallows back the doubt as he pushes James onto the toilet. James pulls out a condom, and, after a moment of confusion (“Uhhh, so are you topping...or…?”), Jame undoes his belt and wraps the condom around himself. There’s a brief moment of pleasure as Ryan pushes himself down.

But no matter how hard he fucks himself down onto the other boy, Ryan's mind keeps slipping away. It’s like he’s floating somewhere on the ceiling watching himself bounce up and down on this boy’s cock. He doesn't feel full the way he's become accustomed to. It's not enough. Not big enough. Not thick enough. Just... _not enough._

Ryan climax is anticlimactic, to be polite.

He’s never had sex so unsatisfying he had to drink to forget, but...here he is, getting wasted.

“What are you trying to forget?” The young bartender asks as he pushes him one last beer.

Ryan hiccups: “I can’t remember.”

\----

He drags himself back into their apartment a little after midnight. He spends two minutes trying to remember how keys fit into door holes. _Wrongwrongwrong_. Finally, he just leans against the door and pounds. Shane opens it up, and Ryan stumbles inside.

“Woah, easy there, buddy. Let’s get you, yeah, come on, lean against me,” Shane says as he puts an arm against his shoulder and leads Ryan to the couch. Ryan collapses onto the cushions, not even bothering to kick off his shoes, and Shane sits besides him. He rubs Ryan's cheek like he’s petting a kitten. There's no trace of the earlier demon.

"I made stir fry. There's still some in the fridge if you want."

"Not hungry," Ryan slurs and leans into Shane's touch.

"So how was the date?”

“Amazin’,” he slurs.

Shane traces his finger along the curve of Ryan's neck, and Ryan's sluggish, intoxicated brain purrs- _yes, yes, more of that._ Then Shane's fingers gently sink down into a darkening hickey. Ryan shivers at the sudden pain.

He blindly gropes up to touch the scruff of Shane's face. His fingertips tingle as he smiles blearily up at Shane.

Shane leans down to press their foreheads together and kiss him. The kiss signals the direction this is going. Shane has yet to kiss him unless he wants to fuck, and, sure enough, Shane asks against his lips--

"You want me to make you feel good?”

“Mhm.”

“Good like he couldn’t?”

“Mhm.”

Ryan blinks as Shane pulls back. He unzips Ryan’s jacket and helps him out of it. Then he unlaces Ryan’s shoes and takes them off for him. Ryan giggles as Shane unzips his jeans and helps him to wiggle out of them.

Shane’s hands brush against his ass, and Ryan remembers something: “Weren’t you gonna spank me for sleeping with ‘em?”

“Another time. You’re too out of it for me to do something that mean, baby.”

_Baby? Not babe?_

Ryan squints and says, “I’m not a- not a baby, you know. ‘M twenty five. Not a baby."

“You’re my baby.”

Ryan’s vaguely aware how couple-y this is: coming home to each other. Calling each other pet names. Kissing on the couch they bought together.

Suddenly, he’s groping to remember the rules.

There was a rule against pet names...but they broke that long ago. Then one against bed sharing...but this a couch, so it’s OK. Definitely one against hickeys, but that seal has been broken. The more he tries to concentrate the more they start to slip away, and Ryan’s okay with that. He does not want to think about written rules when he has Shane doting over him.

He's sure that Shane is probably just frustrated and looking for some release, but so is he. Ryan could use some release after a long week and what was arguably the weakest orgasm of his life.

When Shane squeezes down besides him and wraps his arms around him, Ryan feels a rush of warmth. The warmth, somewhere between arousal and contentment, curls in his gut and builds as Shane strokes his back.

Ryan buries his face into Shane's shoulder, and he happily sighs out _yes_. Before, letting Shane take control would have felt like defeat, but now it's just...nice. It’s nice that he can trust Shane enough to turn his brain off. He throbs against his boxers as Shane gently rubs his back and whispers sweet nothings in his ear. It goes something like:

"I got'chu, baby. Hope he saw those hickeys and knew you were going to come home to me. Shhh, I got'chu. You’re not going anywhere but here."

He’s being so sweet that it might have been better if he just bent Ryan over the couch and fucked him. Ryan’s not sure what to do with Sweet Shane. Asshole Shane is expected. Demon Shane is unexpected. Sweet Shane is unthinkable. It’s got his cock aching and his head spinning.

“I want….I want…”

“ _Shhh_ , what?”

Ryan tightens his grip around Shane: “I want Shane. He’s my best friend and he’s kind of a dick, but a nice dick. He’s got a pretty dick. Really pretty. And he’s always annoying me, but I like it. And he’s so funny. So, so funny. And I like him A LOT, but he’s too stupid to notice prolly unless he’s got his pretty dick in me.”

“Well, you’re in luck, Ryan; I just so happen to be Shane.”

“Which one though? The mean one or the nice one or the horny one or the-”

“Shhh, just Shane.”

Ryan relaxes even as his eyes sting. He can handle just Shane.

“You’re my friend,” Ryan sniffles. “I’m so happy.”

“Why are you crying then?”

Ryan’s not sure why his face is wet. He’s not sad. He’s just...crying. He’s crossed wires somewhere on the way home and short circuited because if he thinks too hard, he might realize something that scares him. It’s already scaring him, and the deeper he tries to hide into Shane’s arms, the closer he gets to it: the scary thing in the back of his head. The one he’s been running from all week.

“I’m so horny it’s hurting me,” Ryan says simply, but it’s not what he means. Not exactly. 

Well, his dick is straining against his jeans, true, but he's also still crying, so...something's off. Ryan's just not sure what. He's read somewhere that you can't feel sad when you orgasm, so he'd like a nice orgasm _yespleaseandthankyou_. He nuzzles his face into Shane's neck and makes what he hopes is a sexy little growl but it might just be a pathetic kitten mewl. Shane's hands are still rubbing up and down his back, and Ryan's got a feeling that he's getting off on listening to Ryan so needy because- because of course he is. He's Shane. There's nothing he loves more than a Ryan in distress. 

“Do you still want me to take care of you?” Shane asks simply, and Ryan knows he’s just checking. Cause consent and yada yada, but Ryan just wants him to touch him and not talk anymore.

“Mhm.”

Shane kisses the nape of his neck, right where his hickey is, and slips a hand into Ryan’s boxers. Ryan's toes curl, and...now that he thinks about it. This might be the first time that he's allowed Shane to touch him and done nothing. Haha that's pretty funny? Isn't it? He sniffles and giggles as Shane's hand curls around his throbbing cock, and, oh, those fingers are stupidly nice. He hates to admit it, but they were made to hold Ryan, all of him. Ryan shivers as Shane slowly -painfully slowly- strokes down him. This is a new type of Shane sex. This is the worst kind of Shane sex. Because as Shane jerks Ryan off, he kisses his face and his wet cheeks and his parted lips. Shane’s painfully gentle, and maybe that makes it worse. Maybe Ryan would have preferred just being pinned down and fucked.

It doesn't matter now because the sensual stroke of Shane’s wrist pushes him over the edge. Ryan’s mind goes blissfully white as Shane gets him to orgasm. Then his whole body goes limp and happy. Shane kisses him again.

“Lemme- uh, lemme do you,” Ryan weakly stammers.

“No, it’s OK. I can do it myself just by looking at you so wrecked,” Shane mummers as he reaches into his own boxers. “Just by looking at how wrecked you get after I touch you. It’s enough to get me there. Don’t worry.”

"You're...weird," Ryan mumbles softly and just curls his face back into Shane’s shoulder to listen to the little noises that Shane makes as he brings himself to orgasm. It’s so hot that his spent cock twitches in his boxers.

Shane’s cum splatters on his hand and Ryan’s skin. They’re both messy but too far gone to clean up.

Ryan yawns and hugs Shane like he’s his favorite teddy bear. Neither of them make a move to go back to their respective beds. Ryan falls asleep covered in hickeys, cum, and Shane.

 _Illegal hickeys_ , he reminds himself of The Rules as he drifts off. _Not supposed to give each other hickeys or sleep together or cuddle or..._

But, as usual, it’s too late: the damage is done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK U FOR READING! I promise this is as sad as these Dumb Bois will probably get. Probably. 
> 
> Leave a kudos if u liked/are excited to see more dark!Shane to cum ;)


	4. Don’t Stop

Ryan wakes up, gasping for air, to find Shane splayed on his chest. Of course he can't breath; he has a fucking wooly mammoth hibernating on him. Ryan’s not sure whether to vomit or laugh as he sits up to see how sweetly they were curled up together.

 _Oh, fuck no_ he thinks as he stumbles to the bathroom. He kneels down, as if to pray, but just vomits in the toilet. Ugh, he really can't hold his drink. Maybe it’s the alcohol or the sudden realization that they’re playing a sickening game. The kind of game with only losers.

He avoids his reflection in the mirror as he splashes water on his face. If his foggy memories can be trusted, he should be covered in Shane’s love bites. He glances up- oh, no, it’s much, much worse. Ryan’s covered in a thick sheen of sweat and regret. He can taste the sweet nothings that Shane has fed him, and- _oh god-_

 _No_ , Ryan thinks as he kneels back over the toilet and empties his stomach completely. _No, I can’t keep doing this._

He forces himself to stumble back into his own cold bedroom when all he wants is the easy warmth of the couch, but that’s the shitty part of adulthood, isn’t it? You can’t always have what you want.

Ryan puts on his battle face for Saturday, which has apparently replaced Sunday as a day for confessions. He wakes up to the smell of sweet, sweet pancakes, but Shane’s not going to shut him up with syrup and blow jobs this time.

“Ok, fess up,” Ryan grumbles as he pads into the kitchen. “Why are you breaking the rules?”

“What?”

“Don’t play stupid, stupid. We’ve broken, uhhhh, is it five rules now? Yeah, five. And it’s only been seven days since you made the stupid thing. That’s literally half, Shane! We’ve broken half of the rules in seven days! If we keep breaking them at this frequency....” Ryan trails off and hops up onto the counter, his favorite spot. He goes to grab a banana and is hit with the most horrible wave of deja-vu. He drops it.

_Circles...we’re going in circles. Round and round. One weekend after another._

Shane artfully flips a pancake: “It can’t be half. Don’t be over dramatic. We’ve just bent one or two. You know when the founding fathers wrote the US Constitution they put in the Elastic Clause, so they could bend a couple of outdated rules.”

Ryan snatches the list off the fridge and clears his throat.

“Ten Rules to Fucking Around with Your Best Friend Slash Roommate. No pet names. If I had a dollar for every time you call me ‘babe’ or ‘baby,’ I’d have enough to move out of our apartment.”

“Fine. I’ll give you that. I do like pet names, but that’s not an important one-”

“No sharing beds?”

“Once. And the couch doesn't count as a bed.”

“No PDA at work?”

“It was in the stall, so no one saw it. PDA means kissing in front of our co workers, so, yeah, maybe we fudged that one a little, but, in general, we’ve only bent a couple of minor rules-”

“No hickeys?” Ryan reads off. “That’s funny; you’d think you would remember things you wrote in your own handwriting. _What_? No snappy retort? Because I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a joke when you pinned me down against that stall and sucked this bad boy into my neck.”

Shane flips another pancake with just a shake of his wrist and catches it on the pan. He wiggles his eyebrows at Ryan.

Ryan makes an unimpressed little _harumph_ and purses his lips.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry for bending slash breaking some of the rules. Honestly, you can just cross them out if it bothers you that much. I stand by what I said; we haven’t broken any of the really bad ones.”

Ryan scans the list: “Hm, what about ‘don’t get in the other person’s way?’ You were pretty in my way with the, the hickeys. Oh, and I haven’t forgotten you fetching my coffee, so that I wouldn’t talk to James.”

“My problem is with that stuck up intern, not the concept of you going on a date. If it was anyone else, I wouldn’t have done anything. And remember...I didn’t stop you walking out with him. We’re both single and free. Free to fuck each other or fuck other people, ain’t that right?”

“Right…”

Shane flips the last of the pancakes onto the plate and grins. He wafts the pancakes under Ryan’s nose.

“Are we done fighting? You know I love arguing with you but not this early in the morning. Not when there are fresh pancakes to be eaten.”

“Yeah,” Ryan sighs but doesn't uncross his hands. “I guess.”

Shane sets the plate onto the table and steps back into his space. His eyes crinkle as he rests his hands on Ryan’s knees. There’s a moment of silence where Ryan remembers how Shane had taken a step back last week, but this time he took a step forward. Ryan can’t suppress his smile when Shane leans in to whisper--

“You need some more convincing?”

“Mhm."

“I solemnly swear to you that I am not in love with you, Ryan Bergara, and if I were, I’d tell you. Got it? I swear on...Shaniacs. Or on my unshakable belief that ghosts are not real. Convincing enough?”

“Fine. You’re lucky I’m hungry for pancakes,” Ryan grumbles as he slides off the counter. “And I may have been pretty black out drunk last night, but don’t think I’ve forgotten the embarrassing shit you did.”

“Like…?”

“Your conversion from babe to baby. Undressing me. Hugging. Lots of really embarrassing shit, actually.”

Shane winks at him as he hands him the bottle of maple syrup: “Oh, damn. Speaking of embarrassing shit, you forgot about how you cried into my neck about ghosts not being real. I wanted to tape it, but, as the more mature one here, I restrained myself.”

“You are not the mature one and that definitely did _not_ happen,” Ryan says and flushes. He _had_ buried his wet face into Shane’s neck, but he’s not really sure why. He’s just an overly emotional bitch it seems.

“You wound me, Ryan. How can you ever suggest that I would lie to you?”

“Because you’re a serial liar.”

“You did cry though.”

“Definitely not over ghosts being fake. They’re real.”

“Yeah. Real fake.”

It descends into the usual nonsense, and Ryan’s relieved that things have shifted back to normal. Or maybe as normal as they can ever be again. Ryan can now measure his weeks in the weird bubble of the weekends, where everything is intimate and perfect, but, as soon as Monday comes, the illusion is shattered.

Ryan licks the syrup off his fingertips and tries to think of how he can stop this cycle. Either by getting a boyfriend or….his eyes drift over to Shane’s stupidly handsome face. No, he can’t date Shane. Or, rather, Shane would never date him, not ever. Fucking is fine, but the idea of risking everything they have together --their friendship and careers-- for the chance of….of something else? It’s madness. _Besides_ , Ryan bitterly reminds himself, _Shane would never date anyone as young as me._

He finishes off his pancakes and pulls out his phone to look for someone else, anyone else. He pauses at some boy. Cute enough. Close enough. He messages him and gets back an instant ‘yes.’

“I’m going out again tonight.”

“Have fun,” Shane says as he stands up and collects their dishes.

Ryan studies Shane’s face, trying to detect the same darkness he saw when he flirted with James, but he finds nothing out of the ordinary. No sign of Demon Shane. His eyes flicker down to the counter as he remembers Shane’s text-threat yesterday to bend him over it. He flushes, tugs at his sweats, and feels dirty.

“I’m going to shower,” he says, not meaning to make it sound like an invitation. Ryan pauses by the doorway.

Shane fixes him with a smirk: “Need some help jerking off again?”

“S-shut up.”

Ryan stands beneath the steam of the shower, sighs, and decides there and then that the best way to deal with the Shane situation is to stop making it a big deal. If Shane’s not stressing, why is he?

He comes out of the shower to find Shane chilling with his computer. The man grins up at him and pats the empty spot on the couch besides him. Ryan’s got work to do, and he’s happy to have some company while he does it.

Ryan rests his feet in Shane’s lap and flexes his toes. All of the bitter anxiety from last night is replaced by a sweet calm. He blames the pancakes and Shane; they’re both too syrup-y and convincing for their own good. You don’t just say no to pancakes, and, likewise, you don’t just say no to Shane.

They work in peaceful silence. Occasionally, Ryan will look up to see Shane’s calm face and smile. How lucky is he? To live with his best friend? To work with his best friend? To….uh, occasionally sleep with his best friend?

“Whatever girl gets you is so lucky,” Ryan says softly, half to himself.

Shane looks up at him: “She’s got to like you that’s for sure.”

“As long as it’s not Veronica, I will. Anybody who you love, I’ll...of course I’ll love them.”

“Back at you. I am supportive of all men who are not James.”

“He’s really a nice kid. What do you have against him?”

Shane just makes an ‘ugh’ face, and Ryan wheezes. He wiggles his naked toes in Shane’s lap, and they brush against the big bulge in his roommate’s pants. Ryan looks down, bites his lip, and looks back up to meet Shane’s darkening eyes. How do either of them manage to breath with this much tension?

Shane licks his lips: “I, uh, did I mention I also have a date tonight?”

“Oh, yeah? What’s her name?” Ryan asks and turns back to his screen, wishing that he hadn’t brought it up.

“Sky.”

“Where’d you guys meet? Tinder?”

“No, I went to Starbucks after work, and she gave me a free drink. She’s, uhhh, about your height. Cute. Great laugh. Here let me show you a picture.”

As Shane scrolls his phone to find the girl, Ryan fumbles for his phone and texts the boy -Josh? Jake?- to make sure they’re still cool for tonight. Ryan can’t stay here. If he stays here any longer, he’s going to say something he’ll regret. Just then he gets a text from James asking about a ‘round two.’ Ryan types out an apology then erases it and types out ‘hell yea.’ Send.

“Here. Look...”

Sky’s a petite girl with big smiling eyes. She’s dressed up in a Hufflepuff sweater, and he can easily imagine Shane in this picture with her, his arms wrapped around her. Ryan lied about liking her; he already hates her more than Veronica.

“She’s cute,” Ryan says and pulls his feet off Shane’s lap. “Hope you guys have fun on your date. Did I mention that my date was with, uh, James?”

Ryan has to suppress a smile as Shane’s lips tighten.

“Really? You seemed less than enthused about his….sexual prowess last night. As I recall, you were all over me.”

“Drunk Ryan’s always all over you. We’ve been over this. And not everything is about sex, Shane.”

“I disagree. Sex is a good indicator of compatibility.”

Ryan snorts, “If that was true, we’d be together, wouldn’t we?”

 _Silence_.

“I’ll take that as a compliment that my sex skills have blown your mind.”

“Nah, your sex skills are OK. We just have…”

“Chemistry?” Shane asks with a twinkle in his eyes. He scoots over to crowd up in Ryan’s space. When his fingers brush his neck, directly into the hickey, Ryan shrugs away from his touch because that’s the only way you can keep a boy’s interest these days, isn’t it? Step one: fuck them. Step two: tell them to fuck off. It’s worked on Ryan, and he knows that Shane --oh, so logical Shane-- is not immune.

Shane crosses his hands against his chest: “My sex skills are not subpar.”

“Mh, I don’t know. I recall that I’m the dick riding champion, and you’re the silver medalist of lazy blowjobs and handjobs”

“Ah, but that is where our sex philosophies differ, Ryan. Sex isn’t a sport, where you compete to pull off the most impressive positions…” Shane says, eyes glinting. “It’s closer to a chess game.”

“You lost me.”

“I know it’s hard to wrap your jock head around this, but I could make a girl cum with nothing but my eyes and my mouth.”

Ryan furrows his eyebrows together.

“What are you talking about... _cunnilingus_?”

“No. Intellectual banter. Flirting. Foreplay.”

“Boring.”

Shane snorts, “Because riding a dude’s dick like a dildo is the epitome of sexual pleasure, right?”

“You love it when I ride you,” Ryan snaps, face heating up. They’ve never gone into how much they enjoy sex together because that’s a taboo. An unspoken rule. Besides, he’d just assumed that Shane loved it. Why wouldn’t he? Ryan is always doing all the hard, dick-riding work.

“I mean it was good don’t get me wrong,” Shane admits and then adds like an afterthought. “But it could be so much better.”

Shane’s words makes his jaw tense and his fingers clench. He wants to push Shane down, but- but that would just prove Shane’s point, wouldn’t it?

Ryan flits through his phone with trembling fingertips. James is hitting him up with different locations. Ryan replies that they should just go to the local movie theater and then dinner. As the silence stretches on though, Shane’s taunts repeat in his head. _But it could be so much better._

“Mhm, enlighten me, oh so wise Shane. What can you do that I can’t?”

Shane licks his lips: “I can make you cum without touching your cock.”

Ryan’s cheeks burn bright red, and, oh god, he doesn't need a boner this early in the morning. He has an exciting day full of...no, no he’s just got a date with James. Perhaps, he’ll tell Shane that he’s going out with James but then go out with that kid from Grindr? Nah, James is a guaranteed lay.

He snaps his laptop shut and snorts, “Liar. You Shane Madej are a professional liar. You can’t just make someone cum without touching them. At least not with boys...maybe your dorky Harry Potter girls are different.”

“It works regardless of gender,” Shane reassures him and looks him up and down. “Want to play?”

Ryan pauses, fingers squeezing down into his laptop, but then he remembers his earlier promise to break the vicious cycle.

“Try again when I’m drunk,” he says and then locks himself in his room.

\-------------

Ryan’s only one drink in when he decides that he wants to play. James has been boring him half to death talking about all the paperwork he has to deal with. The movie (Jumanji) was funny but not thoughtful enough to warrant discussion, so they’ve slipped into just complaining about Buzzfeed’s management. Very stimulating.

When James excuses himself to pee, Ryan clicks Shane’s contact. Shane’s on a date right now, and, possibly knuckle deep in Sky, so there’s no reason he should answer. Still, Ryan types--

_Were u serious? -R_

_About being able to make me cum without touching my dick? -R_

It takes less than a second for Shane to answer him.

_;)))) -S_

_Ur date must be keeping you busy -S_

_I’m not the one who replied in 2 seconds, so right back at you. Just answer the question -R_

_Yes -S_

_Bullshit -R_

_You? The non believer??? Oh, boy, how the tables have turned. -S_

_It’s not realistic -R_

_Listen here, yee of little faith. I could make you cum in under five minutes EASY -S_

_For the sake of science then...50 dollars says you can’t -R_

It’s time that Shane put his money where his filthy mouth is.

_100 dollars. Rules are I can’t touch your cock. All other areas of your body are allowed. -S_

_70 dollars, and we both know how shit you are at following the rules -R_

_Aw, someone scared they’ll lose? -S._

_Fine. 100. But it can’t be a minute over five -R_

_Deal -S_

_Wait. -S_

_Am I allowed to tie you up? -S_

Ryan swallows as he types out _why?_ He’s never been tied up in his goddamn life. The closest he’s ever come to bondage is when Shane pinned his wrists down in the bathroom stall. They’re negotiating different boundaries than usual, and Ryan hates that he’s excited to play this type of game. He’s a vanilla sex kind of guy --why mess with a good thing?-- but Shane’s got him craving something new. Something dark and dangerous.

_Every good experiment has a control, and since I’m the independent variable, I have to control your reactions -S_

That sounds like some pseudo science, but, Ryan can't think of a counter argument. All he knows is that Shane's going to lose anyways, so what does it matter?

_Fine. Tied up or not, I’ll still win -R_

_Here’s a pro-tip about me, baby -S_

_I always win. -S_

Ryan can imagine Shane’s face as he types it. He probably has that glint in his dark eyes when he knows that he’s right, and, oh god, it’s infuriating. Ryan just wants to go home and punch him or maybe kiss him or maybe...

He inhales sharply as James rests a hand on his knee, snapping him back into reality.

“You okay? Want to go?”

Ryan’s faced with a choice-- go home with James for OK sex or go home to Shane for what might be the best sex of his life. He knows what he wants, but- but he shouldn’t, should he? If only he was stronger, he’d tell Shane _no_ and stop this vicious cycle of sex, alcohol, and regret. But Ryan’s weak.

“Listen, James. I had a great night, but...”

“But he’s waiting for you, isn’t he?”

“Uhhhh.”

“I saw you smiling at your phone. You are many things, Ryan, but subtle is not one of them. It’s OK. I knew we were just fucking, but I hoped...it’s fine,” James says and shrugs. “That’s what happens when you’re a rebound.”

“No, god, no. You have the wrong idea about me and- I’m not dating anyone. There’s nothing to rebound from. I just-”

“It’s fine. Really. I can see that I’m a third wheel.”

“You’re not a third wheel. Really, he’s just uhhhh...just a friend with benefits,” Ryan stammers, purposefully avoiding Shane’s name. He knows that James already knows though. He can see it in his sad smile.

“I get it, Ryan. You think that pretending will save you from heartbreak, but I’ll tell you this from experience; you’re going to get hurt.”

“No, it’s not like that. He’s- he’s not like that,” Ryan says, and he’s not sure why he’s defending Shane. “It’s just casual sex.”

James shakes his head as he grabs his bag: “Oh, honey. Sex is never casual. One of you’s secretly hoping that it turns into something more, and I have a feeling that it’s not the big guy. But good luck.”

With that James swishes away and leaves Ryan with nothing but confusion and a check. Honestly? He deserves that. He looks back down at his phone to see Shane texted-- _hurry up._

Ryan downs the last of their drinks. _Sex is never casual._ That can’t be right, can it? Ryan’s had casual sex before; the sex with James was. Except...except now it sounds like James had been hoping that it would turn into something more. Well, whatever. Ryan and Shane are too smart for that. They have the rules.

 _Half of which we’ve broken_ , Ryan reminds himself as he tugs his coat on.

He’s not as tipsy as he could be, but he’s tipsy enough that the idea of coming home to Shane sounds like a good idea and not a Very Bad One.

The cold air attempts to sober him up, but Ryan won’t let it. He stumbles into a cab and gives the man his address. Maybe freaky, casual sex with Shane will shut up this annoying voice in his head. The one that keeps mentally going over the list and counting all the rules they have broken. The one that hisses at the mental image of Shane with what’s-her-face.

Ryan stumbles inside their dark living room to find Shane sitting in the same spot as usual in his tight shirt and boxers. His face is lit up by the glow of his laptop. Shane looks up to meet Ryan’s eyes, and the air seems to crackle between them. Ryan licks his lips as he kicks off his shoes and dumps his coat on the floor. _This is just sex. Nothing more, nothing less._

He comes over and pushes the laptop off Shane’s lap and takes its place. Ryan leans in for a kiss at the same time as Shane, and they meet in the middle. He happily keens at the mutual affection as Shane’s hands fall down to rest at his waist. Shane’s kiss is scratchy and achingly familiar now, and Ryan squirms in Shane’s lap because...isn’t that horrible? To know this intimately what your best friend feels like?

Ryan pulls back and word vomits: “Did you fuck her?”

“Uhhh, that’s kind of personal, don’t you think? I didn’t ask what you and that intern got up to.”

“We didn’t. So tell me.”

“Why? Jealous?” Shane teases.

Ryan crosses his arms and tightens his thighs around Shane: “No.”

“We didn’t, so unclench,” Shane sighs, and Ryan relaxes. He un-crosses his arms and possessively rests them on Shane’s shoulders.

“Good.”

Shane raises his eyebrows: “Good?”

“ _Good_.”

“...what’s _good_ about me not getting laid?” Shane asks, voice softer. Ryan shrugs his shoulders because it’s obvious, isn’t it?

“If you two fuck and get together, our game will end, and I- I don’t want that, so, uhhh...don’t.”

Shane tilts his head, eyes glimmering: “That’s against the rules.”

“Whatever. One more rule we bent. Doesn't mean anything.”

“Right,” Shane says softly. “Doesn't mean anything if I tell you never to see James again either, right?”

Ryan presses their foreheads together: “Right.”

Shane’s hands squeeze his waist and slip back to grope his ass. Shane lightly massages him and Ryan leans in for another kiss, hungry for _moremoremore_.

Shane pulls away and groans, “We’re tampering with the legitimacy of this experiment. I can feel you getting aroused.”

“It’s your fault for being so….” Ryan tries to think of a good word and then settles by just kissing Shane again and muttering ‘stupid’ against his lips. Shane laughs, a deep throaty sound, and  just like that the mood switches. Ryan rocks himself against Shane, and, _ahhh_ , he really just wouldn’t mind doing this for the rest of the night. It’s the weirdest combination of sweet and sexy.

Shane pushes him back again. “Uh, ok, so are we forfeiting the experiment? Because I get it: you’re scared of losing.”

“Oh, no. I’m winning this bullshit ‘experiment,’” Ryan huffs as he struggles to take off his shirt. Shane helps him pull it off and then rewards him with a peck on his flushed cheek.

“It’s not bullshit,” Shane says with a wry grin as he pulls off his own shirt. “100 bucks and gloating rights is on the line, baby, so I’mma need you to calm down.”

Ryan rolls off of Shane as he attempts to wrangle off his jeans, and, yeah, he’s a competitive fucker. 100 bucks is a 100 bucks. Gloating rights? That shit is priceless. Ryan may be tipsy and horny, but, more than anything, he’s still Ryan, and Ryan would never turn down the opportunity to best Shane.

Shane’s helps him tug off his pants, more excited than Ryan’s ever seen him. When Shane reaches under the couch cushion to pull out the black ropes, Ryan laughs because...how else should he react? Shane -his best friend/coworker/roommate- wants to tie him up, and it's just- just hitting him all at once how far they're going. Sure, it's just an experiment, but Ryan's not sure what the outcome is going to be. He's got a hundred dollars and his pride riding on this kinky ass shit.

“Question... _uh_ , is there a safe word?"

Shane smirks: "Yeah, it's 'Shane, you win.'"

"Be serious," Ryan squeaks as he offers up his wrists. Ryan can't think of anything witty with Shane grinning down at him like that. The squeeze of the rope around his wrists go straight to his cock, which helplessly twitches.

"Uncle?"

" _Shane_!"

"Ok, ok," Shane snickers and then thoughtfully pauses. "Hotdaga."

"First of all, fine. Second of all, I fucking- fucking hate you so much," Ryan sputters. "And third of all, set a timer on your phone because I don't want you to go a second over. If we're playing this dumb-ass game, we're actually following the rules, for once. And if you break them, you're getting zero dollars and an ass whooping."

Shane reaches down to fish his phone from his discarded jeans. Ryan settles back on the couch cushions and tries to ignore how fast his heart is beating. He's never been tied up before, and it's kind of...hot? Shane has a slight advantage now, but Ryan still plans on winning anyways. It's game on. _5:00_.

Ryan quirks an eyebrow at Shane-- _hit me with your best move._

Shane hovers over Ryan and presses a chaste kiss to his lips. It's soft -so unlike anything Shane would normally do- that Ryan's eyes widen slightly. Uhhhh, not the move he was expecting.

 _Just breathe in and out_ , he lectures himself as Shane leans down to press fleeting kisses against his jaw and then his neck. Why is Shane going so slow? Like he has all the time in the world? And not…

“Four minutes and forty seconds left. If all you do is kiss me, you’re gonna lose."

Shane looks up at him, eyes dark: “Oh, is that what you think is happening?”

Ryan's eyes flutter as those clever lips start to suck a hickey against the vulnerable skin. Oh, he squirms against the bonds, not even a minute in, and Ryan bites his lip to stop himself from making embarrassing noises. Shane's mouth ‘pop’s from his neck. The wet kisses combined with the tightness around his wrists made Ryan's traitorous cock twitch. Shane's lips curve into a smirk against his neck, and that insufferable smugness makes Ryan stiffen. Shit.

Shane pinches his reddening cheek: “What was that about losing, baby?”

“F-four minutes and two seconds."

Shane grabs his chin, forcing his eyes away from the phone, so he has to look into Shane's darkening eyes. How had this gone from silly experiment to sexually charged? He's sure he can see a little bit of demon in those dilated pupils.

“Hm, what should I do with you?” Shane whispers, and the words sent a shiver down Ryan's spine. With the ropes biting his wrists and Shane's big hands cupping his face, Ryan really does feel helpless.

“No plan? You’re setting yourself up for failure,” Ryan teases back, trying desperately to keep his voice steady.

Shane only presses another soft kiss against his lips and then roughly flips him over, so his face is pressed to a cushion and his tied hands are tucked beneath him. His black boxers are up in the air above his head. The sudden show of Shane's size and power causes another embarrassing whine to slip out.

Shane trails his cold fingers up Ryan's spine: “Oh, don't worry; I plan to win."

Ryan's naked back arches at the feather light touches. Shane stops at his ass and gently starts to massage Ryan’s cheeks. Ryan strains to see the phone over his shoulder. _3:30_. Mark this down in the books as an easy win. It's hard to look over his shoulder at the phone, but he's determined to just concentrate on the ticking numbers and not-

“Oh! What are y-you doing?” Ryan whimpers, straining against the ropes, as Shane jerks his boxers down. Once more, Shane's ability to just- just manhandle him is so fucking hot, and his traitorous cock throbs.

“Never gotten your ass eaten?” Shane asks, voice low and gravely.

Ryan's body heats up as Shane's cold fingers dig into his ass. They're just so big and- and- and he's never had Shane's fingers inside him, has he? Of course, he would agree to bondage before fingering. Their relationship just can't get any weirder.

Shane's hot breath ghosts over him, and his cock strains between his body and the couch. Tears involuntarily sting his eyes as he tries to keep his gaze focused on the time behind him.

Ryan shivers as Shane's hot tongue drags down to tease his rim and pre cum squirts from the tip of his cock. The embarrassment makes his squeeze his thighs together, and he rests his flushed cheek against the cushion. _Keep it together; if Shane wins, he's gonna have bragging rights forever._

Ryan sniffles, "You’ve got th-three minutes left.”

“Aw, don’t cry, baby,” Shane says, voice a low and mocking tenor. "That's more than enough time for you to cum."

He whimpers at the sensation of Shane's big tongue lapping at him.

"S-shane,” he gasps, wriggling against the restraints as Shane licks him in long, lazy strips.

Ryan's stomach muscles involuntarily clenches at the sensation. Shane only hums a jaunty little jingle as he swirls his tongue against Ryan's sensitive taint. Oh, Ryan bit his lip as he unconsciously arches his back up into Shane. _Don’t act so desperate_ , he chides himself, but it's too late for that.

“Ah, fuck! Sh-shane!”

“Hm? Need something?” Shane pulls back. Ryan is pathetically panting, little noises escaping his lips, as Shane’s saliva drips down his skin.

“You’re t-the worst."

But Shane gives him nothing but a teasing lick as Ryan twists against the ropes once more. The hot drag of Shane's tongue is driving him closer and closer to the edge.

 _Oh, come on._ He strains over his shoulder. Only two minutes and thirty seconds left…so close…and yet- and yet Shane’s got a secret weapon hidden under the couch cushions.

"Th-that's cheating," Ryan whines when he sees Shane produce the pink toy. He knew the bastard would pull something like this.

"Not really....just...stretching," Shane says with an insufferable smirk, and Ryan realizes that his voice has gotten a little deeper. The low tenor penetrates Ryan's ear and forces a shiver out of him.

Shane presses the toy to Ryan's exposed, wet rim and pauses just a second --a second long enough for Ryan to say the safe word-- but Ryan, for all his whining, stays silent. Shane chuckles a dark little _that's what I thought, baby._

The offhand 'baby' sends jolts down Ryan's spine as Shane spreads his cheeks again. They've had sex before, but- but never like this. This is some new breed of fucked up, and Ryan, oh god, Ryan may never be the same again after this. He's never given up control. Never been tied up. Never been treated like a sex object. Ryan's used to holding boys down by their necks and taking his pleasure as he wants; he's never been the one, breathless, waiting for it.

All of these thoughts occur to him in the second that Shane presses the tip of the toy inside of his greedy hole, and, with another sweet, approving rumble of Shane’s voice, pushes the toy inside.

The toy, as big as it is, is still smaller than Shane's cock, and Ryan, who was already prepped for his date tonight, takes it with a willing moan. It’s the sluttiest most horrible moan. It’s the kind of moan that means he might lose this afterall. Embarrassed, he bites his lip as the toy slides inside of him. It's so fucking good, and his cock is throbbing, leaking. Ryan's skin feels so tight like he might explode. There-there's a word for this. Over? Over? He can't think of it with his mind so fuzzy as he holds his breath, trying not let any more embarrassing noises leak out of him, but it’s hard with Shane’s teasing voice going--

“That’s it, Ryan. You don’t have to hold it in; come on, I know you want to cum. I can see how you’re aching to cum for me, baby. Come on. Come on. Shhh, I won’t laugh if you cum all over yourself.”

His eyes blur; he can't see the clock behind him anymore. All Ryan can do is feel the toy pressed up to his prostate, and Ryan can't do anything about this sudden fullness. It's sweet, sweet torture. He wriggles his wrists against the rope, but he knows that Shane's not going to let him move, not gonna let him leave until he coaxes out an orgasm.

A drop of sweat trickles down his back, and Shane wipes it as he rubs a hand down Ryan’s back, encouraging him to give in. The slow, sweet motion of Shane rubbing up and down his back makes the fullness worse. Ryan’s hole squeezes around the toy, waiting for _moremoremoremore_.

“Just a minute to go,” Shane says, gleefully, evilly.

Then he presses something, and the toy starts to vibrate, and Ryan’s eyes flutter in helpless bliss. _Oh god._

“You know… I think I was wrong, Ryan.”

“A-a-about what?”

“You’re not the control bit of the experiment. You’re the dependent variable. Dependent on me.”

Ryan groans, embarrassed, as he starts to lose control of his body. There must not be more than thirty seconds on the clock, but it’s too much. Ryan squeezes his eyes shut and comes with a pathetic groan. Back arching. Toes curling. Ropes tightening.

 _Overstimulation… that’s the word…_ is Ryan's last thought as his orgasm is ripped from him. His thighs are shaking. Cheeks red and wet. Head spinning.

“You win… Sh-Shane wins."

“See? I told you that was the perfect safe word," Shane sniggers like a little kid who has just gotten their way as he presses the vibrator ‘off.’

Ryan’s out of words. His mind’s still fuzzy, and he feels like he’s in his brain, but not really. The world’s still dark and hazy. Shane slides the vibrator out and undoes his wrists, and Ryan’s not sure how it happened, but he’s in Shane’s lap again. This time when he wraps his arms around Shane’s neck and straddles his thighs it’s not for dominance or control. This time it’s for comfort.

He can feel Shane’s hard cock against him, and he’s so well fucked that it doesn't even send the usual jolts of desire down his spine.

Instead, Ryan’s chest tightens as he snuggles closer into Shane’s chest, and he thinks that he likes it when Shane wins their games. He likes their games. He likes the push and pull, but, most of all, he likes that it’s Shane. His mind is so empty that he can hear his own thoughts without judgement--

_I like Shane. I like him and his childish jokes and pretty cock and kinky sex. I like him so much and I don’t want to stop liking him. I don’t want to share. I like him so much that I might love the fucking idiot._

The rules were here to stop this, weren’t they?

Ryan wishes he could leave his body and watch the two of them together through the lense of a camera right now. Maybe then he’d understand it. James words echo in his head-- _one of you’s secretly hoping that it turns into something more, and I have a feeling that it’s not the big guy._

Another day. Another broken rule.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rules Broken:  
> Don't fuck when the other person has a date  
> Don't get in the way of the other person finding love 
> 
>  Thanks to Nina for being a great beta <3
> 
> ONLY ONE MORE TO GOOOooooo. IT'S GETTING SPICY!!!!! Leave some kudos/love if u wanna read more of this shit.


	5. Can't spell Don't without Do

Ryan yawns and wraps his hands around Shane, snuggling closer to this handsome idiot. Last night’s still hazy but he knows two things for sure: 1) that was one intense orgasm 2) he’s in fucking DEEP.

His mind and body are still relaxed post-orgasm. When he gets up, it’ll all hit him, so Ryan hides his face in the crook of Shane’s neck instead. Can’t he hide here forever? It’s Sunday, so...yes, yes he can hide here for now. There’s nothing urgent for him to do. There are no deadlines he has to meet.

“I told you so,” Shane rumbles, voice still scratchy from sleep.

“Is that really the first thing you wanna say to me in the morning?”

Shane snickers and presses his lips to Ryan’s ear: “How about...that was the best sex I’ve had in a hot minute?”

“Better,” Ryan grumbles as those deep vibrations send a shiver down his spine.

But _shit,_ Shane’s voice just sounds so good, doesn't it? Ryan didn’t think the sound of anyone’s voice could ever be arousing, but, Shane...Shane’s got Ryan's stupid cock twitching against his cum stained boxers. Ryan's only half aware that he twisted the boxers back on at some point last night. Shane, on the other hand, has nothing covering his decency. Since they've just, _uuhhh,_ had kinky ass sex, Ryan shouldn't blush when he looks down; he blushes anyways.

“You look cute in the mornings?”

“Nice. Yes, keep it coming.”

Shane softly chuckles and nuzzles his neck, and Ryan's dumb heart skips a beat.

 _What happened to your promise of not to fall for Shane?_ A voice hisses at him, and Ryan’s tired of hating himself for being weak. Like, ok, sorry! It’s hard not to fall for the dick who you eat with, work with, and sleep with. They’re literally playing husbands but refusing to be boyfriends; it’d take an actual sociopath not to fall under these circumstances!

Ryan’s weak.

How can he not be weak for Shane’s smiles and his eyes and his dick?

Shane, as if he can hear Ryan's thoughts, shifts against him. Ryan swallows as Shane's cock slowly starts to stiffen against his stomach. Ryan tightens the muscles there - self-conscious of how soft he must be- and wishes he still had his six pack. It's more of a half-hearted four pack now, but if he keeps having sex with Shane, he'll have a six pack in a couple weeks. No doubt.

Shane's big hands dig down into him for leverage as he ruts up again, and, oh fuck, Ryan squirms in his grip.

It's so quiet right now, and there's no drink between them, no darkness either. There's no pretense of a game. Ryan has to close his eyes because _this_? This is nothing like what they've done before. It's real.

There's nothing but Shane's big fingers sinking down into the arch of his back, and his cock hardening against Ryan's taut stomach. Shane kisses his neck and Ryan’s breath catches as he remembers that this is Shane right now. This is Shane's aftershave burning into his skin. This is Shane holding him close. This is Shane The Stupidly Handsome. Shane his best friend. Shane his co-worker. Shane his roommate. Shane his-

"What are you thinking about?"

Ryan bites his lip: "Nothing. You?"

"Last night."

Ryan’s cock twitches as he focuses in on the hazy details of last night. He can feel the night in his wrists and in the ache of his ass. He can hear it dripping in Shane’s cocky voice. He remembers ropes and vibrators and, _oh my._

“We...really did all that, huh?” Ryan wonders aloud.

“Mh, and I won bragging rights, so I never have to shut up about it,” Shane chuckles.

“Ughhh, great,” Ryan groans, but he’s smiling into Shane’s shoulder.

Before, sex had been a competitive sport. Last night had been a chess game. Now -this morning- it’s just...just kinda them. Ryan has let go of his need to control everything, and Shane’s gotten out all of his dark energy, so now? Now, it’s just them together in the morning light. Nothing less, nothing more.

Or maybe there’s still more. There’s still last night’s heavy promise (or was it more of a demand?) to not see other people.

“Speaking of last night, I think- I think I remember we decided to be, uhhhh...exclusive?” Ryan says, and the words sit uneasily in his mouth. It’s what he means but not completely.

“Yeah,” Shane grunts as he slides up against Ryan and, for once, Shane has nothing else to say. Ryan flushes and curls his toes. He doesn't want to push it, but - fuck it! - they’ve already pushed all of the boundaries.

“That’s against the rules, isn't it?”

Shane goes still, and Ryan's not sure how Shane has this much self-control. When Ryan's fully aroused, he needs it hard and fast and good. His cheeks burn as he remembers how Shane had broken him down last night.

“Mhm, sure is,” Shane confirms and, unlike yesterday, he has no excuses this time. They’ve clearly -explicitly- broken a rule. A major one.

Ryan lets out his breath and he was only half aware that he was holding it.

“And...you’re OK with that? Breaking the rules?"

“You’re the one who’s obsessed with following them,” Shane deflects. Obvious deflection. Anyone with a brain and ears could hear that was a deflection. Ryan’s not gonna pussy out now.

“And it doesn't….worry you that we’re just breaking rules left and right now? You’re the one who wrote them.”

“Why? Worried you're gonna fall for me?” Shane teases.

“No! Oh god no… are- are you?"

"Nope," Shane says with a pop of his tongue, and his fingers dip down to grope Ryan's ass.

Ryan's hit by an overwhelming wave of annoyance. It pushes against his chest, and Ryan twists around in Shane's arms, so he doesn't have to see his face. That only makes it worse though because now Shane's erection is pressed up against the flush of Ryan's ass.

The silence is back but now Ryan can feel his heart pounding against his rib cage.

Now he can feel a bead of sweat dripping down the curve of his spine. Now he's hyper-aware of Shane's breath getting shallower and shallower as his own boxers grow tighter and tighter. It's hard -in more ways than one- to stay silent when Shane's fingers settle against the waistband of his boxers.

"I know you're annoyed at me," Shane correctly guesses and gently tugs at the edge of Ryan's boxers. "So what's got your panties in a twist?"

"Nothing. Just sore from last night, I guess," Ryan sighs.

Shane presses a kiss into the crook of his neck: "Lemme give you a massage then. Release some tension."

The offer makes Ryan's heart flutter, and, wow, he's just fucking gone isn't he? If the game is Don't-Catch-Feelings, Ryan's the biggest loser.

Arousal and annoyance twists in his gut as Shane's big thumb swipes down to rub him through the cotton of his boxers. He's gone from a place of bliss and sweet love to- to- to fucking frustration. Ryan roughly worries his bottom lip with his teeth as Shane softly caresses him with just one finger.

"I'm not in the mood," Ryan says as he pushes away Shane's hand and sits up, so his back is to Shane. The room spins and he squeezes the bridge of his nose. He's blue-balling himself for no fucking reason.

He looks back down to catch a rare glimpse of hurt flash across Shane's face.

"Is this about last night? Did you hate it?"

"It's not that. No, I liked that. I'm- just- you know I'm just kinda- uhhh" Ryan struggles for words to explain why he's pulling away when all he wants to do is snuggle against Shane. He settles with silence, which stretches long and wide in the space between them. Shane's eyes harden.

"English, Ryan," Shane snarks as he also sits up and reaches over to grab a couch cushion to cover himself up. There's literal unresolved sexual tension, but Ryan has already committed to Talking About It, hasn't he?

"I'm just- I'm just scared to do this if there are no rules."

"There are still rules."

"Yeah? Which ones haven't we broken yet?"

Shane opens his mouth and closes it. Ryan's never seen him like this; the unfazed Shane might be....fazed. Damn, what a fucking plot twist.

"You didn't even think we needed them, did you? You threw them out the first morning," Shane says, and even though his voice is getting quieter, Ryan feels like he's being yelled at. "What's your problem? One minute you're all over me, and the next minute you're pushing me away."

"I- I just..." Ryan's dumb voice cracks. "Need the rules. I'm, if I'm honest, I’m scared we won't enjoy ourselves without them."

"Why do we need rules to enjoy ourselves?"

"Because...?"

"Because what? Fuck it. No more rules; let's just do friends with benefits, no stupid rules.”

"You were the one who made them, Shane. In case you've forgotten that Past Shane thought we needed clear boundaries-"

"We know our boundaries! Past Shane is an idiot, who didn't know what he was doing," Shane says, voice getting softer. "I'm sorry if I antagonized you with that stupid list. I've been imagining how painful it must have been to wake up after that first night and see it all written out. I guess I thought I was being smart, but it was...really just stupid and insecure. Come here, Ryan, let's forget about those rules. I'll shred them to fucking bits."

"Yeah?" Ryan asks as he scoots back down, so he's chest to chest again with Shane. This sounds like a Bad Idea, but Ryan's just happy that they've both come to the same conclusion. What's the point of a rules list if they're just going to break all of them anyways?

"Yeah."

Ryan throws the cushion away and watches as Shane's eyes dilate with desire. He's aware of the ache in his wrists, and it's making him fucking horny. Why should he punish himself anymore? Ryan's a free man. Shane's a free man.

"Let's burn the list," Ryan says with a wicked grin.

"In the middle of the woods? Moonlight? Bonfire?" Shane muses. "Oh, keep talking dirty to me, baby."

Ryan leans in to kiss Shane at the same time the other man does. It's just a soft peck, but that's more than anything they've ever done in the broad daylight. It feels different with the gentle morning light streaming in.

Shane cups his face and deepens the kiss. His fingers brush against the vulnerable naked part of Ryan's neck, and Ryan makes a broken little noise. God, he's so fucking gone for this idiot and denying himself a little pleasure isn't going to change that. His boxers tighten as Shane kisses him like he's hungry, and Ryan parts his lips. He's imagining how that tongue felt inside his ass last night, and, oh wow, it was so nice and wet, wasn't it? Ryan flushes as he remembers that slickness pressed up inside of him. He wants that over and over again. He wants Shane inside of him.

As if Shane can read his mind, one of his big hands fall from Ryan's face to rest on his ass. Just the feeling of those big, perfect fingers against him have Ryan's eyes fluttering. Shane wasn't allowed to put them inside of Ryan last night, but now? Now the game is over. Shane's fingers sink down into the thickness of Ryan's ass, and, oh god, Ryan feels like his skin is so tight it might burst. He's so horny that he can hardly breathe.

Ryan breaks away to gasp for air.

"I want- I want to keep having sex with you."

"No complaints here," Shane teases as Ryan squirms against him. "Any other shocking confessions?"

"Hey, fuck off. You know what I mean; I want you...exclusively. No more interns or baristas. And...uh if we're being brutally honest here I really want you to finger me. Is that what you wanted to hear? That I've been dreaming about having your stupidly big fingers inside of me? Be-because it's true."

Shane grins as he slowly leans in to kiss him again: "Thought you'd never ask. Lucky for you I had the foresight to hide some lube in the cushions."

"Our poor couch," Ryan laughs as Shane lets go of them to reach under the cushions. "That's where we eat and watch TV and-"

"And fuck."

"And that too," Ryan concedes, anger fading. It's hard to be mad when Shane's staring at him like he's dizzy in love or maybe Ryan is just projecting.

Shane slowly uncaps and slicks up his finger. Wow, this is better than any porn that Ryan's ever seen. He'd never thought that prep could be sexy, and why? WHY have they never done this? Now that he sees the lube smearing all over Shane's big fingers, Ryan clenches a little in anticipation. He's not a girl, but his boxers are getting wet with precum.

Ryan slides out of his tight, tight boxers. He gulps, adam apple bobbing as Shane's lubricated hands brush between his thighs. It's so weird to be doing this A) sober B) in daylight C) without the rules.

"Good?" Shane asks, voice soft and raspy around the edges as his first finger pushes up against Ryan's rim. He keeps it right there for a minute, teasing Ryan. Then he slowly -oh so slowly- pushes the finger inside.

Ryan spreads his legs, face flushing, and gasps a soft _yeah_ . Here's the thing; Ryan's not usually shy about sex. He like to take his pleasure. This? This is different. Without the pretense of a game or any rules, he's giving himself to Shane. Terrifying is an understatement. He can't control all the pleasure anymore. Instead of thinking too hard about it, Ryan closes his eyes again and hides his flushed face in the crook of Shane's shoulder. He tries to slow his breathing, but then Shane crooks his finger juuuuust right and _oh_.

"Oh god yes," Ryan sighs happily as Shane pushes in a second one.

"All I needed was a finger and I got you taking the Lord's name in vain?"

"Shuddup and let me enjoy this," Ryan grumbles.

Shane just happily hums as he pushes in a third finger. Ryan usually preps himself, so having another boy take care of him? It’s...kinda nice if he’s being honest with himself. Plus, Shane’s fucking _good_ too.

“You gotta lot of experience fingering girls?”

Shane kisses his neck as he crooks his finger up to press against that magic spot: “And boys.”

Ryan squeaks as the pleasure courses through him. _Ah_.

He could come just from Shane’s big fingers filling him up, but no. No, he wants all of Shane inside of him. As if Shane can read his mind, he fingers still and then slowly pull out.

“You want something else, baby?”

“Mhm,” Ryan moans, too afraid to say anything in case his voice betrays him again. It’s crazy how quickly that Shane can take him apart. No one else could make his body feel this tight or hot. He needs Shane’s pretty cock inside of him.

“Can I try something new?” Shane asks, and Ryan nods.

Shane rolls on tops of him, so he’s in between Ryan’s thighs. This is so different, and- Ryan snorts with laughter as he realizes something.

“Wha’? Why are you laughing?”

“This is missionary position, isn’t it? Something new for us is fucking missionary. Oh god,” Ryan laughs so hard he starts to tear up. “We’re the weirdest fuck buddies in the world, aren’t we? We literally tie each other up before we do missionary.”

Shane grins as he looks down on him: “I mean this is a perfect position to kiss you or choke you or-”

“Just fuck me, asshole,” Ryan cuts him off.

This is kind of intense; they’re face to face. Eye to eye. Ryan covers up his face in the crook of his elbow as Shane positions his cock against Ryan’s well prepped rim. He bites his lip as he feels the tip of Shane press against him. It won’t take much for Shane to- _ah_ , there it is. He sucks in his breath and lets it out as he adjusts to Shane slowly pushing inside of him. Sure he’s been prepped, but Shane’s still Big.

Shane grunts, a low guttural sound, as he pushes inside of Ryan. His toes curl as Shane fills him up nice and good.

“Yes, yes, _yes_ !” Ryan chants, not able to control himself as Shane slowly thrusts, gradually picking up the pace. He wants it harder and faster  _right now_ , but Ryan allows Shane to take control. He vaguely wishes that his wrists were tied up like yesterday.

“You’re so loud. What do our neighbors think?”

“That we’re having good fucking sex,” Ryan groans as he arches up into Shane. They’ve fucked hard and good and fast before. They’ve never done it like this though. Never in the morning. Never this sober. Never with the knowledge that they only want each other, nobody else.

It can’t be more than a minute, but it feels so good that it stretches out longer that. Shane’s making these sexy little noises in his ear. A droplet of sweat runs down his back. Ryan sinks his fingers into Shane’s shoulders and moans, loud and needy, when he hits that spot. Again. And again.

And when Shane pulls out and cums on Ryan’s chest, it’s kinda gross but also kinda nice. Ryan never realized that he liked to be marked up before Shane. Guess he’s learning something new about himself every day.

Shane collapses on top of him and they lay there in silence before Ryan clears his throat: "So...no more rules?"

"Yeah," Shane says as he wipes his sweaty forehead. "Except maybe just the big unspoken one, you know?”

"Yeah. I know," Ryan sighs.

_But I already fucked that one up._

\----------

The rules might be physically gone from their fridge, but Ryan still remembers them. He still can't let them go.

He's still very aware that he's broken the Don't Fall in Love rule.

It hits him at random moments. Like right now when they're watching some dumbass documentary about the Loch Ness Monster, and they're curled up on the couch and- _fuck_. It’s so sweet and couple-y and shit, but Ryan's chest hurts.

Ryan stretches up to his feet and stumbles to the kitchen. Maybe it's just the sweaty LA weather getting to him, but his head is shot. He opens the fridge, grabs a cold beer, and presses it to his overheated skin. Ryan blankly stares at that moldy piece of cheese. _Why did I never take care of that? Instead, I just kept pushing it further and further away..._

"Yo! Are you coming back? You're missing the Nessy proof, Ryan!"

He slams the fridge shut, stomach sinking.

Ryan curls back under Shane's arm and wonders how you can pine for someone who you spend every single day of your life with. This is some dumb shit right here.

"I've been thinking..."

"Oh? A dangerous activity at this hour."

"Dude, it's 11 PM."

Shane reaches over to steal a sip of his beer: "So...you were thinking...?"

"Maybe we should get different places."

"What?” Shane says and shakes his head, not processing what Ryan’s saying.

“Different places,” Ryan repeats. “Like move out.”

“Look. You think we can convince Buzzfeed to let us go to Scotland and solve the mystery of the Loch Ness Monster ourselves? These guys are doing a god awful job.”

" _Shane_ ,” Ryan snaps as he grabs his beer back. “We work together and live together and sleep together. Don’t you think it’s too much?”

Shane shrugs, desperately trying to pull off nonchalant. Ryan can see his jaw is tense though.

Ryan reaches forward to grab the remote and turns off the TV: “Listen. We're not even, like, _together_ together. So maybe we shouldn't live together?"

“I was watching that,” Shane protests and does a little pouty face. It might have been endearing if Ryan wasn’t feeling a hundred different emotions at once while Shane refused to feel anything. Just because Shane didn’t get hyper emotional about everything didn’t mean he was right.

Ryan throws the remote back down and gives Shane a look that says _if you don’t get serious for 5 minutes you’re going nowhere near this sweet ass._

Shane runs a hand through his hair: “You’re not moving out. First of all, I need you here to watch cool ass shows and get ideas for our job. Second of all, you’re going to miss all my pancakes and just end up coming over anyways. So, basically, it’s a waste of money.”

“A waste of…?”

"Money. It’s not cheap to live in LA without a roommate, and if you moved in with someone else I’d have to kill them.”

Ryan resists the urge to roll his eyes: “Great logic. So we’re gonna fuck up everything we have to...what? Cut expenses?”

“No one’s fucking up anything. Don’t be dramatic. It’s cheaper, more convenient. Sex is great. Everything is great. Why do you keep trying to mess up our good thing?”

Ryan purses his lip because he can’t really argue with that. Well, no, Ryan can argue anything when it comes to Shane, but he knows that Shane is right. On paper everything is amazing. He’s having the best fucking sex of his life. He’s living with his best friend. He’s cozy right now, curled up with Shane on their couch. They’re exclusive. It’s great, so...why isn’t he happy?

 _You know why_ , a little voice reminds him.

Ryan shoves the voice away, back into the darkness of mind, but Ryan can still hear it’s protests. Even when he curls back under Shane's arm and resumes their Nessy Night, it’s still there, burning at the back of his throat.

When he nods off to sleep against Shane’s shoulder, he dreams that he’s trying desperately to stay at the top of a crumbling Cheese mountain. The further that he moves up the more that it breaks apart, until he’s buried underneath a crumb avalanche.

His eyes snap open, and, no, the only mountain he’s buried under is Shane. The TV plays sports reruns behind them as sweat drips down his neck.

Shane rouses as Ryan tries to push him off of him.

“It was hard to sleep like that,” Ryan whispers in a form of apology for waking Shane and gives him a peck on the cheek.

“Don’t you dare leave me,” Shane whispers, voice uncharacteristically desperate. Ryan’s heart skips a beat at the words, and he realizes that’s what he’s been waiting to hear.

“I’m not going anywhere...just changing positions.”

“Good.”

Ryan falls asleep on top of Shane and has no more nightmares.

They have pancakes for breakfast, and while Ryan doesn't mention moving out again, he’s sure it was the right thing to do. Still, when Shane pushes him up against the counter, it doesn't feel wrong. Their hands intertwine as Shane gently pushes inside of him, and Ryan’s never felt more in love.

\----------

_HOUR 0_

“Kinky,” Ryan comments dryly when Shane shoves the handcuffs in front of his face. They’re a fluffy, pink abomination. Ryan’s familiar enough with Buzzfeed’s content to know where this is going.

“Best friends handcuffed together for 24 hours. Cool?”

He hates it, but Ryan already knows this video will be viral as hell. God, their fangirls are gonna shit themselves. Brandon’s behind Shane with a camera; he’s probably going to record them at work, and they’ll vlog at home.

“Make it ‘Shane and Ryan from Buzzfeed Unsolved handcuffed for 24 hours,’ and we’ll get another million,” Ryan concedes and offers up his wrist without much thought. If this is what he has to do to make a living between Buzzfeed Unsolved Seasons, so be it.

It’s only when Shane snaps on the cuffs that Ryan realizes he messed up.

 _Fuckfuckfuck_!

“W-wait,” Ryan sputters. “Undo it! Shane, I- I need to have my right hand.”

“Too late! Our twenty-four hours starts now,” Shane says with that shit eating grin that he gets whenever Ryan panics at a haunted location. _God, why does the love of my fucking life get off on my pain?_ It’s a good thing that Ryan loves to torture himself almost as much as Shane loves to torture Ryan. They’re a match made in fucked up Heaven.

Brandon pans the camera onto Ryan’s face, and he knows that he must look pissed because Shane looks giddy as hell.

Oh god, this is going to be a long twenty-four hours, isn’t it?

\----------

_HOUR 20_

“Come on you can turn the camera off now,” Ryan groans as he collapses onto Shane’s bed. He’s tired as hell, and these shitty handcuffs are chafing.

“No can do. I really did give Brandon the only key, soooo....” Shane says and flops down onto the bed with him. Ryan wrestles the camera from him. He zooms in close on Shane’s stupidly handsome face.

“Have I mentioned that I hate you?”

“Only once an hour, baby,” Shane says and gives the camera a smooth wink.

“I-I am not including that in the final cut! I’m going to have to cut so much of this footage because you keep being a flirty piece of shit; you know that, right?”

Shane inches closer to Ryan, so the camera is squeezed between their chests, and faux-whispers: “Oh, you’re not going to include the footage where I bend you over the bed and fuck the shit out of you?”

“That hasn’t happened,” Ryan groans as Shane presses a rough kiss to his cheek.

“ _Yet_.”

Ryan’s face heats up as he imagines leaving this conversation in.

“I’m sore as fuck. Nothing’s going anywhere near my ass,” Ryan scoffs.

Shane nuzzles the crook of his neck and takes the camera back only to stick it in Ryan’s face: “Ah, but I have the upper hand. Or should I say right hand? All I need to do is get you aroused, and you’ll need me to give you a helping hand.”

“Put in another hand pun I fucking dare you, Shane.”

“You’re _hand_ ling this poorly.”

“SHANE!”

His distressed moans only earn a smug laugh from Shane. He’s getting off on this, isn’t he?

Ryan’s eyes are heavy, and he struggles to keep them open as Shane’s right-hand starts to massage his thigh. Ryan’s lips part as Shane travels up the inseam of his jeans; he hovers right over the bulge between Ryan’s thighs.

“On one hand, you’re annoyed at me. On the other hand...I know you won’t refuse a handjob, Ryan; you’re always a slut for my fingers.”

Ryan’s breath hitches at the dirty talk. It’s even dirtier with the camera resting on the covers and still recording. He should tell Shane to turn it off...he should…

“I wouldn’t,” Ryan’s stopped by the yawn that involuntarily seizes him. “Be opposed.”

“I knew the lady did protest too much,” Shane sniggers as he cups all of Ryan in his hand and squeezes. _Hard_. Then Shane stills his hand on top of Ryan’s clothed cock. Wow, what a fucking dick. Ryan bites his lip as he realizes that Shane wants to hear him beg for it. The bastard just loves to see him squirm.

He glares at Shane through sleepy eyes. It’s hard to be mad at the man whose fingers are lightly tracing the outline of his cock through his jeans, but Ryan tries his damndest.

“Need something, Ryan?”

“You, dick.”

“Oh no, you’re not getting any of that tonight.”

“Move your…” Ryan starts and trails off. He’s so fucking tired that his tongue is just not responding to signals from his brain. He just wants Shane to cooperate for once in his fucking life, not that he will. Shane’s biggest kinks are A) proving Ryan wrong B) typing Ryan up C) fucking with Ryan’s head.

“What was that?” Shane taunts as he gently unzips Ryan’s jeans. “Use your big boy words.”

“Hand,” Ryan lamely demands. He flushes a deep red when he remembers that the camera is picking up on all of their dirty talk. Shane’s eyes twinkle darkly; there’s the demon Ryan knows and loves.

Shane tugs at the elastic edge of Ryan’s boxers: “Gonna need some more directions.”

The tugging rubs his cock just right, and Ryan makes a pained little noise at the back of his throat. Ryan’s never been at this point of exhausted. It’s almost like being drunk. He’s so tired that all he can do is lie back and take Shane’s teasing and taunting, and (he hates to admit it) there’s something sexy about being so helpless. It takes him back to the moment where his hands were tied, and, well, his one hand is also tied up now. So it’s close.

“Shane,” Ryan whines, hoping that it’ll make that hand slip down into his boxers. He can feel his cock pressing up desperately into the fabric, waiting for release. Ryan watches as Shane raises up the elastic band and lets it snap back into his skin. Then, instead of going under the waistband, he starts to caress Ryan through the white material. The boxers are so thin that it’s almost see through anyway.

Anyways, Ryan never realized how pleasurable the cotton material of the boxers could feel against his throbbing cock. He watches through half-lidded eyes as Shane’s fingers rub him. Up and down and up and down and-

“More,” Ryan bosses and Shane’s hand goes still. _Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me._

“That’s not how we ask for things we want, now is it?” Shane says like he’s speaking to a five-year-old. Ryan squirms under his grip. The first rule of having sex with Shane is….you play by Shane’s rules. This is the man who wrote up ten rules the night after they first fucked, so...Ryan shouldn’t be surprised.

“ _Fuuuuck_ ,” Ryan moans.

“No, not even close.”

“Fuck you.”

“Colder.”

Ryan sucks in a deep breathe and then releases with a soft _please_.

“Mh, there we go,” Shane says sweetly into his ear, voice dripping derision. He slips his hand down into Ryan’s boxers, and takes his throbbing cock into his fist. Ryan bites his lip as he waits for Shane to fucking do _something_. How is that Shane can make a simple hand job both infuriatingly complex and so fucking sexy?  

He gives Shane his most imploring look. Shane just licks his lip and swipes his thumb in a circle over the head of Ryan’s cock. The simple motion makes Ryan’s stomach muscles clench and his toes curl. He does his best not to let his eyes flutter, but judging by Shane’s smug look, he must look fucking wrecked right now.

“Please, Shane; I- I need you,” Ryan says, voice cracking, as he swallows up the last of his pride. Shane leans in to reward him with a kiss and slides his fist down Ryan’s length. _Ahh_. He moans into Shane’s mouth as Shane moves his hand back up him again. Ryan’s wide awake now; his whole bodies singing with pleasure as Shane painfully strokes his cock.

“Promise me,” Shane pulls back so a line of spit connects their lips.

“Wha’?”

“Promise me,” Shane growls.

Ryan’s hips stutter up to follow the motion of Shane’s hand: “A-anything.”

“Promise me you’ll come with me to Scotland and find Nessy. Even if Buzzfeed doesn't approve it. Even if we change jobs. No matter what. Even if you fall in love with some other fucking intern.”

Ryan’s laugh turns into a moan as Shane twists his hand down Ryan’s cock, and he cums all over himself. _Oh fuck, I’m in love with an idiot._

“I-I promise.”

And the worst part is that Ryan couldn’t even lie if he wanted to. There’s no one he’d rather travel the world with then Shane.

\----------

Ryan hasn’t touched the footage.

He rubs his wrist, which still has the fading outline of a purple bruise. His feet are up on Shane’s lap, and it’s the perfect time to edit the footage. Instead, he puts his headphones on and goes to watch a stream of the latest game. Every now and then his eyes flicker up to Shane.

“What are you thinking?” Shane asks when he catches Ryan’s eye.

The words catch in his throat every time he tries to force them out.

“Just looking up tickets to Scotland,” Ryan teases.

“I was dead serious about that, you know.”

“Well, I’m still holding onto hope that Sugardaddy Buzzfeed will pay for it.”

“They will; once they see our 24-hour challenge go viral, they’ll know it’s a worthwhile investment. How’s the editing going by the way?”

Ryan clears his throat and turns back to the computer: “It’s...going.”

“You haven’t even started, have you?”

“Uhhhh, no. Not exactly.”

Shane squeezes his foot: “Do you want me to do it?”

“No,” Ryan says firmly. “I got this.”

He doesn't even look at it until Saturday morning, and all the time he’s wondering…. _What exactly am I afraid of?_

\----------

Ryan's not sure how he got to this point, down on his knees in their kitchen. He hates giving oral. He's always hated it. There was never anything appealing about having a dick in his mouth, but somehow the fact that he's kneeling for Shane? Oh fuck, just the thought sends a jolt of arousal down his spine. Ryan's cock twitches against his overly tight jeans as he looks up at Shane's stupidly handsome face. Ryan realizes he'll get a crick in his neck from this angle.

"Can you uhhhh sit down at the table, Shane?"

"Not tall enough to ride the ride, I see."

"Jesus fucking christ," Ryan groans and laughs. "You're killing my boner. I can't- I can't fucking believe I'm doing this. I hate sucking dick. Remind me again why I'm doing this?"

"I honestly have no idea. I came back from Starbucks, and you kinda pushed me into the kitchen. So at that point I was too afraid to ask in case you came to your senses. Should we....should we talk about it?" Shane awkwardly asks as he sits down at the table and adjusts his hard-on.  

Ryan trips over his feet to sit at the table. He's still flushed, half hard and not nearly tipsy enough for this conversation. The three beers he’s had slosh nervously in his stomach. He kind of wants to fucking die, kind of wants to fucking fuck. Ryan is just truly a mess after seeing the footage.

He shakes his head and hides it in his hands. The amount of arousal still radiating from him is humiliating. Ryan should just go to his room and jack off. He should just-

"Want to come to my room and talk?"

_Fuck yes._

“No, I should just say it here. Ok...I,” Ryan clears his throat. “I edited the footage, and…”

“And?”

This is not how he should be saying this.

“Maybe I’m just projecting, and I can’t be sure, but- Shane do you like me?”

“Uh, yes. Obviously. What gave it away? My raging erection?”

“No, I mean...are you-” Ryan cuts himself off and shakes his head.

“Ryan talk to me. What is it?”

“Promise me whatever I tell you now that you’ll still want to go to Scotland with me?”

Shane laughs, “I promise.”

“I- I like you, and I might even be…. _inlovewithyou_.”

“What?”

“And fuck, the way you look at me isn’t fucking fair. You should see the damned footage. I have no chance, ok? This is why I wanted to keep the rules. This is why I wanted to move out,” Ryan word vomits. “Because I’m afraid that- that _I’minlovewithyou_ and you aren’t. And that’s it. That’s what I wanted to say, but you already promised to go to Scotland with me, so if you hate me, it’s too late-”

Shane cuts him off by putting his hand on top of Ryan’s on the table. He meets Ryan’s eyes and gives him a sad smile.

“Dude, it’s fine. I’ve felt the same for awhile now.”

Ryan’s heart stops. His lips part. A siren blares below in the dark LA streets.

Shane casually shrugs like he didn't just shatter Ryan’s world.

“H-how long?”

“Since, hmmm...since you went on that date with James and I made up that I had a date with Sky?”

“Made...up…?”

“Yeah, well, she actually did invite me on a date, but I refused. It was weird because I didn’t know why I lied to you about it until I realized…”

“You realized?”

“That I want to be with nobody but you Ryan. I just didn’t say anything because I was afraid you didn’t feel the same way.”

“You-you-you” Ryan feels like his brain is malfunctioning. “You broke the final rule! The unspoken one. And you said that you weren’t afraid of falling for me.”

“Yeah, cause at that point I’d already fallen for you,” Shane says with a nonchalant shrug, and Ryan’s not sure if he wants to kiss Shane or choke him.

“I never realized that I could both hate you and love you at the same time. How is that possible? You’re so…” Ryan can’t even finish.

He silently straddles Shane and kisses the handsome idiot. This means that Shane’s had feelings for Ryan since fucking forever ago. He’s been silently suffering for longer than Ryan.

Shane’s hands fall onto Ryan’s waist as they kiss again, deeper this time. Shane’s still hard against Ryan’s ass, and Ryan wants Shane inside of him. He wants Shane in every single way. He wants demon Shane and sweet Shane and best friend Shane. He wants nobody but Shane every day from now until forever.

Ryan slides off of Shane’s lap and back down onto the cold kitchen floor. This time he’s perfectly eye level with Shane’s zipper. He bites his bottom lip as arousal shoots down his spine, and, wow, this is a first for him. Ryan’s never wanted to suck a dude’s dick. Never. He’s done it, but it’s never aroused him before...but with Shane? Everything’s fucking sexy. Maybe because it’s Shane.

“You as good as I was?” Shane teases as Ryan rubs his hands up and down Shane’s thighs.

“You mean as bad? Dude, you licked my dick like it was a giant clit or something; you’re god awful at it.”

“Ouch, that’d hurt more if I wasn’t about to fuck your throat, _bro_.”

Ryan snorts and smacks Shane’s thigh. Shane only spreads his legs wider, and the image of his bulge so provocatively on display makes Ryan’s head spin with desire. He sucks in a breath as he slowly unzips Shane.

Ryan looks up at Shane through his lashes, and for the first time ever, _Ryan_ is the smug one. Shane’s looking down at him with those impossibly pretty eyes. The ones that make Ryan want to kiss him. Instead, Ryan leans in to kiss Shane’s hardness through the softness of his boxers. He opens his mouth, breath hot against Shane’s desire, and closes his mouth around the clothed bulge. He sucks down a little, and Shane moans in appreciation.

“And I’m the tease?” Shane chuckles as he pets Ryan’s hair.

Ryan only smiles as Shane tugs at the short strands of Ryan’s hair, clearly desperate for more. All of this time Ryan’s been worried when he’s always been the one with Shane in the palm of his hand.

He pulls Shane’s cock out of his boxers. It’s just as pretty as the first time he saw it. Ryan lightly strokes his thumb down the length and earns a gasp from Shane. He’s painfully hard from all of these illicit noises that he’s teasing out of Shane. He leans in, so his breath comes out in hot huffs against Shane’s sensitive tip.

“Just going to look? I know I’m pretty, but-”

“Patience is a virtue, you know that?”

“Not when your mouth looks like sin,” Shane quips, and Ryan grins up at the snarky bastard.

He slowly -oh so slowly- parts his lips and sticks out his pink tongue. He kitten licks the head of Shane. He’s being so soft that he knows it’s torture to Shane’s rock hard cock. Payback is a bitch. This is what Shane gets for holding out his confession until Ryan pieced it together. Ryan’s gonna be the biggest cock tease of all time.

At least that’s what he thinks until he gets his whole mouth on Shane. Oh, he loves the way that Shane fills him up. He loves the weight of Shane’s cock pressed up against his tongue. Ryan moans and maybe his eyes do that stupid flutter. Maybe.

“F-fuck, Ryan, you look; oh god, your mouth looks like it was made to be full like that. Shit. You’re perfect.”

Ryan practically purrs at the praise as he moves down. He grips Shane’s thighs to keep balance his as he deepthroats Shane all the way. His eyes water, but, judging by Shane’s moan, it’s fucking amazing. And Ryan’s so turned on by the sound that he has to reach down with his right hand and rub himself through his jeans, anything to release the building pressure between his thighs. Shane’s so big that wet tears fall down his cheeks. But god it’s so amazing to have a cock this big in his mouth.

“Don’t stop,” Shane hisses and tightens his grip in Ryan’s hair.

Ryan looks up at Shane as he pulls back up, trailing wet saliva, and then back down. It’s so messy and sexy.

Shane forcefully tugs him back up by the roots of his hair and then down, and Ryan already can tell that he’s going to love having Shane take control of this.

But Ryan also needs some air, so he pulls back with a lewd _pop_.

He hasn’t even managed to take a breath in before Shane’s splattering all over his red cheeks. Ryan licks the cum that drips down onto his wet lips and rubs himself through his jeans. One squeeze, two squeeze, and then he’s shuddering.

“Are you sure that you hate sucking dick because you….did not suck at all.”

Ryan wipes his face and shrugs: “Had to show you how it was done.”

They order pizza for dinner and then collapse onto the couch. Ryan’s half spawled in Shane’s lap, his favorite spot, and Shane’s arm is around his shoulder. It’s fucking bliss. They flip through sports channels and then find a weird documentary about animal mating techniques on the Discovery Channel.

“So, uh, you wanna be _together_ together?” Ryan asks as he stares at a bird twerking it’s ass off trying to get a mate.

“Only if it means we can watch another Loch Ness Monster documentary and fuck on our couch so hard the springs finally give in.”

“Oh, I’m always down for some Nessy and Chill.”

“And that’s why we were meant to be together.”

\--------

It really is meant to be.

The handcuff video goes viral. Buzzfeed approves the trip to Scotland. Shane and Ryan make it Instagram official with a kiss.

In the plane bathroom on their way to Scotland, Ryan and Shane join the mile high club and, fuck, life couldn’t get any better, could it?

“So…” Shane says as he presses a kiss to Ryan’s sweaty temple. “Is love still a scam?”

“Mhm, the worst kind. And am I still too young to date you?”

“Way too young, baby,” Shane says with a laugh.

Ryan feels like he’s flying up on cloud nine, but the plane’s probably a hell of a lot higher than that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, guys!!!! Hope you enjoyed the ride!
> 
> Happy to say I'm gonna be writing more Buzzfeed Unsolved Fics because I'm participating in Nina's fic/pic exchange :D Excited to see whose prompt I get to fill!

**Author's Note:**

> hey yo. sorry for deleting the first time round because it didn't show up in the tags, so I got discouraged and wasn't sure if I should continue. I'm ACTUALLY! an insecure bby, and I rlly should just be more confident. It's...a struggle. 
> 
> BUT I had a lot of emotional support from Nina (@yaboybergara) and I decided to continue. She can confirm that we already planned the ending, and I already have 15K written (no joke!) so why not post it?   
> Thank you for everything, girl <3 <3 <3 Ur a hero <3 
> 
> Leave a kudo/comment if u enjoyed and want more!!!!! Sorry to all the ppl who rd it and were like??? were u gone, bitch?   
> <3 I will post the second part Sunday night.


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